Shouldn't you blog about Halloween?
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Not really. Halloween is a holiday for girls, and that fact (yes fact) has never been more clearly illustrated than in the past 24 hours. I saw a girl dressed as a deviled egg (she had an egg on her shirt, and wore horns and carried a pitchfork), I saw a girl dressed as Marie Antoinette, I saw a girl dressed up as a a sunflower, and I saw NO boys dressed up. Wait I take that back, I saw a boy with a box of cereal around his neck, and a knife through it (..."Cereal" Killer...get it?). Today at work all the ladies have decorated their offices, and dressed up, the boys? Well they are trying, but are not nearly as into the holiday as the girls. I mean, just because you don't TYPICALLY wear a cowboy hat, doesn't make it a costume to wear that and your regular work cloths.But then again, it's EASIER for girls to get dressed up. Put on some slutty cloths, and a pair of animal ears....BAM you are a sexy kitty or a cute monkey. The boy that does that is neither cute nor sexy...he's just gay. Case in point, I did see a boy with wings and an antennae headband. But for real...he was gay. Like not just "oh that guy looks gay." I know the boy sucks dick, he's a friend of mine.
So the point of the last 24 hours is that guys just don't try because it's a holiday for girls. So no, I won't be posting about Halloween. ;)
New Stories Interface
Thursday, October 25, 2007
The stories page had a slight upgrade today. I'm trying to figure out if its better or worse layout wise.Do you love it, do you hate it? Let me know.
Jack Attatck
Saturday, October 20, 2007
So last night I was babysitting my little 5 yr old pal Jack. His mom needed a night off and his typical babysitter bailed on her. So being the baby of my family and not having alot of experience with kids, I was naturally not sure what I was going to be doing.Luckily 5 year old boys love video games, and I'm the video game king..or at least I used to be. That kid whopped me in Mario Party 4 all night long. We took a break and made pizza, and when he was done eating he gave me a big old hug.
Little kids are so cute. They don't care who you are, or what you do for a living or anything. They just care that you are interacting with them.
So then he attatcked me, and I choked him out. He passed out for the next 2 hours, so I really didn't have to babysit all that much. No, I'm joking, he then ran around the house looking for Lil' Scratchy, who had hidden DEEP in the bowles of the house, for Scratchy and strangers do NOT get along. A piggyback ride and a cruise around the house on the dolly later, and he was tuckerd out.
Eventually his Dad showed up and picked him up, and my night of babysitting was over. Probably the best friday night I had in awhile.
Anyways, the kids on Youtube, and this is just a taste of what my night was like. Jack craked me up all night long.
Labels: Jack
Mike Ross is my daddy
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Krannert Center Corporate night went off with out a hitch. Who am I kidding, I just had to show up. I think actually there was a hitch, there was this shrimp on the floor, and this lady stepped on it and almost fell. Luckily I was there for her to grab so that she didn't hit the floor. Krannert Center staff showed their amazing ability to think outside the box and look out for the safety of their patrons by blankly staring at the squished shrimp still on the floor. When it became obvious to some of the patrons that the joint is staffed by people with IQ's about 6 points over that of a monkeys, they cleaned up the mess themselves.
The live band was pretty good. Oh and on the way in they had these fake Paparazzi taking your photo and a red carpet. All very swanky and kinda fun.
There was a rousing speech about...well I'm not sure what it was about. Either I had too much to drink at that point, or the speaker had, because the whole thing seemed to be a long string of self-congratulatory buzz words.
I shook some hands, smiled big, and then had to take off. Previous engagement and all.
Labels: double meaning, rant, review
I'm so dense sometimes...
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
So I'm at Bingo last night, doing my regular selling of the cards to people. It's a pretty small crowd. In fact there are no new people there, and everyone knows who I am. So my typical question has become "are you playing bingo tonight?" And these people who know me know the drill. Give Ben the money, get the cards, win crappy prizes.So in the middle of round 1, this young lady comes in alone and sits down at the bar, and orders a drink. I decide to wait till a break in the show before approaching her. But see...its round one. My tickets and blotters and all that jazz are up at the front of the room, and I'm sitting at the back of the room.
So once the round is over, I hop up and go up to the lady and ask "are you playing bingo tonight?" to which she replies "actually I'm waiting for someone."
So I excuse myself and go up and get the cards and blotters and then go around the room selling more cards.
I am so dense sometimes...
With out my cards and blotters, I was just some DUDE walking up to her. And WHAT a lame pick up line "are you playing bingo?" But this takes me about 10 minutes to realize, and by the time the current round is over and I can go up to her and offer her another chance to play...she's moved outside. ARGH! So now this girl thinks I'm some total loser who sleezes on girls sitting alone at the bar.
So just in case she searches for "ben boltini" and reads this post...
To the girl at boltini with the red purse last night:
You sound like you smoke 3 packs a day, and you really aren't all that pretty. Sorry you got confused about your hotness level (for the record you are about a 6) and thought that someone might cross the bar for a chance to sit next to you. You aren't that special, I just wanted to make some money off you. The fact that you had a guy joining you only meant double dollars to me.
Labels: Bingo, Boltini, downtown
More jobs for me
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Potential new job times three...One I already got. I am now the entire IT staff for a local chiropractar. They call me when they have problems. I fit them into my schedule. They pay me silly ammounts of cash.
The second one is a website for some dude with bussiness all over the country. Hopefully I can turn it into a hosting thing as well. That means money every month vs. one big check one time.
Third is just a bussiness contact really more than a job. Someone here in town kind of collects contatcs and when he has a job he needs help on he calls those people. So I'm not really sure what, if anyhting, I will be doing, but it's nice to have these kind of people knowing you. You can't do it all alone, you need to have people looking out for you.
So here we are, a weekish away from my one year anniversery and where is Ben at? A home owner, a million new friends, a million bucks in the bank, and making bussiness contacts all over town. I've been on some pretty good vacations, and I have some cool ones comming up. Spent time with some wonderful people, and some not so wonderful people. Learned some new lessons, and made some of the same mistakes from lessons I didn't learn.
Man, alot has happened to me in just one year. What have you been doing with your time?
If there ever was a question about who's house it is....
Thursday, October 04, 2007
It's Daddy's house.It's no secret that I track you motherfuckers on my blog and on my website. I get reports about how many hits a day I get, where they come from (Texas?), and this I thought was really interesting....what search terms people use and then find my blog.
Click it actually be able to read it.
That's right, you are reading correctly. "ben boltini" is the number one search term, at just under 50% of all search terms. Near as I can figure people are meeting me and for whatever reason searching for my name and where they met me. Luckily they are finding me that way. Either way...the point is, it's official. Ben and Boltini are pretty much one and the same, such that people are searching for it on google.
other honorable mentions, are "fuck chivalry." Yeah that's right...you find Ben when you fuck chivalry.
"Meg Coblentz" you go ahead and google yourself, and find my blog...good job. Wonder what your new hubby thinks of that?
My personal favorite is "ben gorski photos." I mean...who wants to READ what I have to say when you can SEE what I look like instead, right?
Of course this is all just one side of the story. Thats just the google hits, I actually get somewhere in the neighborhood of 20 hits a day, and most of those are what they call direct traffic and referral traffic. As in, people linking from Colin's blog (46%), or directly typing the URL into their browser bar(44%). These "organic" hits are a very SMALL portion of my traffic (10%), as you can see...most of the search terms only get used once.
So guess what...people read the shit you put on here when you comment, and not just your friends and mine, but Texans, and Aussies, and some kids in England. And if I write about you? Hell, your exploits are known....internationally!
My new green kitchen
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
It's still a little messy, but you get the idea. The kitchen walls are green, and there's a new Old Style Clock in the kitchen.I know, you're jealous...It's ok, it's not my clock.
Labels: home improvement
Dumb Americans
Nintendo first had to offer larger wrist straps because American's are fat, now they have to offer no-slip covers because Americans sweat too much when playing video games. Here is a conversation I had about that.[09:04] NAMECHANGED: have you ordered your wiimote jacket?
[09:05] hunka130: no
[09:05] hunka130: those things are for dumb Americans
[09:05] NAMECHANGED: but they are free...
[09:07] hunka130: right
[09:07] hunka130: because sweaty Americans cant hold onto their remotes
[09:07] hunka130: its dumb
[09:07] NAMECHANGED: but they are free...
[09:07] hunka130: if it was free to jump off a bridge, would you do it?
[09:08] NAMECHANGED: totally
[09:08] hunka130: hold on then
[09:15] hunka130: http://hunka.net/free/
Fun news and pictures of more dumb Americans
Obligatory YouTube embed:
Home improvement continues
Monday, October 01, 2007
I have picked out a color for my front rooms, and my house pooped a couch, which really opens up the TV room. Judd doesn't like it. He says now two people can't lay down and watch TV. I say, I'm not in college anymore, and rather than build my furniture out of milk crates, and just throw anything in my house, I'm going to try to have matching stuff, and make things look 1/2 way decent.Its form over function these days, which is a 180 from where we used to be.
For the record, Craig's list is the best thing ever. I locally listed that there was a free couch on the curb, and within 3 hours, the sucker was hauled off. God bless living in a college town....suckers. I'm pretty sure that couch has syphilis.
Labels: home improvement
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