Jack learned a new word
...and it's "Boobies"
Thursday, November 29, 2007
NO, I didn't teach him that! He just stated yelling about it tonight. Crazy kid. We also had a very in-depth conversation about how rocks all taste the same(I asked him if he thought they would...so I guess it's my fault). Jack says they do. I rebutted that rocks are made of different things and there for would taste different. He exclaimed "EVERYONE know that all rocks are made of the same things! Like these goldfish crackers, they are all made of the same stuff, and they all taste the same!"
How can I argue with that logic?
I won't name names or anything , but let's just say a friend of mine who works for a children's home, asked someone else I know if they had any freebie computers laying around...perhaps in the recycle pile, or something that could be mashed into a computer for a very bright young child who has no hope of ever touching a computer otherwise. Nothing fancy...something 8 years old (i.e. no resale value) would be perfect.
The response "If you spent more money here, I'd consider it"
So today, over lunch, I'm donating a computer of mine to this child...because smart kids with out a chance need a chance to do something with their lives. I mean, it's probably hard enough growing up in a children's home...let's get the little guy a computer to play with.
So that's what I'm doing with my lunch...righting the wrongs of the evil. And yes...I would say no matter how Christian you claim to be...that was kinda a dick move.
...and I helped!
Extra points to the kids who know what commercial that title is from.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
But the point of it all is that the next time you are downtown Champaign...take a look in the window of Boltini, or heck, stop in and really get a good look. We spent about four hours on Saturday decorating the inside for the holidays. Personally, I helped decorate two of the display cases, and implemented Kate's design for the front window, but the whole place looks amazing in my opinion. I always love how they do little things like that at Boltini. It makes it feel...I don't know...homey? My mom always decorates the house for the different seasons, so to see that place transform is kind of like my house.
The extra special part is that I got to be a part of it all this year. So now there are two places that do window displays downtown. Boltini, and the place right next door to us. I really think it would be awesome if it became a THING every year, for all the business's to do a window display. Bring the people downtown for more than just boozing. Then maybe places like Carrie's and Circles could do more business due to the increased foot traffic.
I'm just sayin....
Who knew it would happen so fast?
So I was out with my best buds Colin, Zack and Nate last night, and I could only hang out for 45 minutes before it was off to work. Then today, I am working 9-4, and they are leaving for Chicago around noon. Who knew I would feel the burn of working so much so fast? But...it's the holidays, this is bound to happen alot coming up here.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
I have seen the promised land....
...and it's name is Turducken.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Yes these things have been around a long time, and they are nothing new. I heard about them years ago, but it was not until today that Ellie described them to me as a "meat cave." That cracked me up, so I got to lookin' up how to go about making one.
It's pretty gruesome, but I must have one...even if it means making it myself. Meatroll Monday II anyone? I think so.
How the Emily Brinkmann's if the world are doing
Remember this post?
Monday, November 19, 2007
Yeah, neither did I till today. It's old. So I get a message today from the one and only Emily Brinkmann. Feel free to read the comment yourself (she commented on the entry that I liked above), but I can also save you the trouble, and let you know that it appears my predictions were correct. She IS doing well for herself, she's a teacher, and getting married shortly, although I woulda planned that differently. You know one of these years one of you two will be like "Well this is your Christmas gift...AAAANNNND your anniversary present." All jokes aside, I hope that's the worst that happens with your new chapter in life and congratulations!
So she says something about how she was forwarded my blog, or someone passed it to her or something...So that makes me wonder...WHO? The world may never know, seeing as how she just commented on the blog, and didn't actually leave me a way to contact her. So now I can't ask her anything. Well, I can...I kinda just did. If she decides to keep reading this. I can't imagine anyone finds the ramblings of a townie that exciting. Especially when there's skiing to be done, or whatever other awesome things you do in Denver, and not here.
And THAT'S how the Emily Brinkmann's are doing. Now we just gotta hear from the rest of the people on that list ;)
Boltini Kicked My Ass
Ok, lets be clear here. I have never "WORKED" a day of my life. Office jobs, making webpages, sales, and when I was very little I mowed lawns (but that doesn't count...I only WORKED for a half hour).
Saturday, November 17, 2007
I used muscles I didn't know I had, and I've been lifting weights and running pretty regularly recently. My ams ache, my hands are burned (the dishwater is to be kept at near scalding...just under where the skin blisters off the bone immediately), and my fingers need some sort of moisturizer from all the soapy water they were in all night.
It's hard, but I enjoy it. I saw a few familiar faces, some people who I never see out were out just to see me. I"m a little scared of whats going to happen when I have to do it by myself. I'm just going to trust that I'll pick it up as I go, and I'll get better the more I do it.
Course Wouldn't you know it. The FIRST time I'm at Bolt's working and not there for Happy Hour, 2 sets of girls come in. That NEVER happens on a friday Happy hour, I know, I've been at the last 8 or so of them!
On the up side, I did a little math:
There are 168 hours in the week.
I work for 56 of those hours now, in one form or another.
I sleep for 56 of those hours on average.
Which just leaves 56 hours of free time a week.
So I'm now getting paid for 1/3 of my life...but I have dish pan hands like a motherfucker.
New Work Clothes
So I gotta go get some swanky new black pants and shirts, and I'm told not to wear anything I care about because these are gonna be "work clothes, and they WILL get dirty." So I'm like, damn, all I have are those nice black pants I usually wear with my suit coat, thats not gonna work, I'm gonna want those to stay nice!
Friday, November 16, 2007
So it's off to the mall for this guy, but as I pull into the parking lot, a little bird (Aaron) tells me, that I should just go to the discount store and get pants there, and that I will save a bundle.
It goes against every thing I know to shop at a place like Gordman's, or T.J. MAX, versus the Gap or Express. It turns out that Aaron is a very convincing fellow when he wants to be, so begrudgingly, I went.
Wow. That's all I have to say. Bargain basement prices. I spent what I would have spent on one pair of pants at the Gap, and got two pairs of pants and a nice button up (down?) shirt. And this wasn't half bad stuff. I mean, we will see if they fall apart after I wash them, but it worked out O.K.
Tangent: Do you call them button up shirts, or button down shirts? Is it a regional thing, like soda and pop? If you call them button up shirts, do you have to start at the bottom when buttoning and vice versa?
Oh and shopping with a purpose, way easier and faster than any other shopping I have done. I took the three pairs of pants that were black into the dressing room, and at those prices, if they fit I bought 'em. I think I was in and out of the joint in less than seven minutes. Try on shirts? Why!? It says medium or small, so it's mine now. And I didn't have to look around and say "hmmm....what color should I get?" or "will this go with those pants?" Cause...its black. It needs to be black, there were no other options.
And yes, my butt still looks good in off brand clothes (I've been working out). I guess it's not the clothes who make the man (or woman), but the man who makes the man.
It's official...so I can talk about it now
Andrew Flach is coming back to Champaign. Like, not for a game, or to hang with me for the day...He's moving back here.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Words cannot describe terrors we are about to inflict on this town and it's denizens. Guys will want to be us, ladies will want to be WITH us, and little old ladies will say "Those two are the kindest gentleman I have met...what sweet boys!"
Mr. Flach's first day at his new job here in C-U is Dec. 10th. He will be working for the chamber of commerce or some shit. Basically...making way too much money doing not a whole lot of work. Those city jobs are always like that.
Oh man...I hope we run into Meg
So I'm reading an interview in GQ today with
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
One is a ton of energy, which I feel is true about me. People always ask me if I'm a morning person or a night person...and I'm both. I can party till 2 am, and still be up at 7 and ready for work by 8. I can do that 2 months in a row and no one will be the wiser. The party kids think I'm just doing my thing every night, and my bosses think I'm just that guy who comes in on time and works all day.
The second thing they talked about was megalomania. And I have to admit I had an idea what it was but I looked it up just to make sure. "Delusions of grandeur...see also Narcissism". And so I realize that I'm fucked. I do have delusions of grandeur, and I have been thinking recently (or maybe all of my life), that there's something bigger out there for me. I always identify with characters in movies or video games who start out as a simple kid, or thatchers son, but become some hero that saves the world, or defeats the big bad.
So here I thought I was just a big dreamer being held back by trying to stay grounded and focused on what is the right thing to do, when in fact...all I am is a guy who got dropped on his head as a child, and me and the other 2,000,000 (and that's just in the US) people all have the same bountiful energy and think we are supposed to be running the world.
Fun Facts about epilepsy:
- Up to 5% of people in the world may have at least one seizure in their lives.
- One time Ben got out of a cross country race because he took a dive face first on a gravel path during a warm up.
- There are about 180000 new cases of seizures and epilepsy diagnosed each year in the U.S.
- Ben described the sensation of having one as "noodles" traveling across his head when he was a child
- People having seizures cannot swallow their tongues.
- Senior citizens are the fastest growing segment of the population diagnosed with seizures.
- Here's a list of famous people with epilepsy (Does anyone else think its odd that canadians get their own category?).
It was bound to happen SOMETIME...
So I get my credit card bill the other day, and its over 1000 dollars. Not really a problem, and I pay it off in full, but I look through it just to make sure there are no false charges because....thats a little high. So I'm looking through it and right in a row, three charges to Boltini (all for about 20 - 45 dollars), and I'm not here to dispute that those charges...but seriously...three in a row? Like I didn't go to lunch or get gas or ANYTHING in between? Obviously I'm spending too much time in there, so I went ahead and applied to be a bar back. This way they are PAYING me to be there and not the other way around. The 50% discount will help make that credit card bill a little smaller too.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
So I'm Boltini's newest bar back. Flach asked "What would they possibly ask you in an interview?"
"Do you want to work?" was pretty much it. In fact I was drinking while I was filling out the application. It was pretty much a formality, rather than a real interview.
So I go to my old dentist today. I sucked it up and walked in there and said "I havn't been in a while, and this other guy wants $2000 to fix it, what do you say"
Thursday, November 08, 2007
So she pokes around, and looks at my ex-rays, etc etc etc, and she says "You have one cavity (this is in line with the other Dr. so far) and you need a regular cleaning."
"Wait...what! I don't need 2 hours of a sonic cleaning? I don't need my mouth packed with anti biotics? I don't need my existing fillings replaced?"
"No...your teeth are fine, and as long as you start brushing twice a day and flossing regularly, you should have no problems."
So...once again...for those of you who were concerned with "catching what I have"...you can't catch what I have...I have poor oral hygiene, so as long as you are brushing YOUR teeth, you are fine.
And for the rest of you...let that be a lesson! Always get a second opinion, I just saved 1,950 dollars! I think I'm gonna go by myself a little present.
The Jack Strikes Back
Turns out I'm now the REQUESTED babysitter for my little pal Jack. I also get greeted with what I have affectionately dubbed the "Ben Ben Dance." It looks like that little dancing banana from the Peanut Butter Jelly Time dance, only instead of singing the song, you say "Beeeennn, Beeennn, Beeeennnn." Preferably you do this dance while standing on a chair or sofa, but in the middle of the kitchen is also acceptable.
Friday, November 02, 2007
So to regain my title of king of all games, I beat the pants off him in Candy Land, Chutes and Ladders, and Chess. I mean, the first two were easy, but I DID almost loose the chess game. He's actually pretty good.
So this is where he goes to bed, right? School tomorrow and all that. WRONG. This kid is SNEAKY. He pulls the "OH NO! I forgot to do my Homework!" as soon as I say it's time to hit the sack. So then we were up for an extra half hour, coloring monkeys, circling M's and T's and singing "Do you know the muffin man." (No laughing).
Ok, so its not too late, and all we have left to do is brush the teeth, read the story, and then plop into bed.
While he's brushing his teeth, he looks up at me and says "You know what would be really cool?"
"Keep your face over the sink, and spit that stuff out before you talk, but what would be really cool?"
He spits, and turns back to me "It would be really cool if you lived with us!"
I was floored.
So I get the little guy into bed, and I read him "Berenstain Bears Get in a Fight" in which I learned that making up after a fight is like the rainbow after a storm. This also applies to MY life right now, so it was kinda funny thats the one he wanted to read.
So he's finally asleep, I think it was only like 45 minutes after he was supposed to be, and mostly that wasn't my fault, I guess I could have asked if he had homework, but I don't remember having homework at five...but then again, I don't remember much about being five.
The rest of the night went off with out a hitch. He got up and coughed a lot at some point but I just sat with him till he was done, and then he rolled over and went back to sleep. I'm sure he won't even remember me doing that.