Friday is bet day

Remember that bet I made a few months ago. The one where if I was still straight I got 2000 dollars? I was looking at my calender and saw where Friday is the day that I get my money. The man said that we was going to be on vacation that day, but would have his lawyer meet me at the bar to give me a check.

So...Who wants to go to happy hour at Guido's on Friday with me? If the guys lawyer shows up...I'm totally picking up the tab. Since he WON'T....bring cash.

So I went back to find the post about the bet...did I not blog about the bet? I coulda swore I did. I remember people telling me I needed to stop hanging out in bars.

Oh well...so the story goes like this. It was last summer, and the Cubs were in the division series and I was obsessed with a young lady who was a cubs fan (no...not you Elaine). So I would have something to talk about, I went out to watch the game. I tried to get everyone and their sister to go with me, but everyone was busy. So I ended up going alone. Sitting at the bar and watching the game.

Now I'm a friendly guy so I ended up talking with this guy next to me. We talked about baseball and websites and all this shit. Turns out...the guy thought I was gay and was trying to get me to go home with him. I told him I wasn't and he told me that within 3 (or was it 6?) months I would be gay. I took the bet for a grand total of 2000 dollars.

So...Friday is bet day. I'll be at Guido's from 6-8ish looking my gayest so the lawyer will recognize me. Feel free to join me Champaign readers. And if any of my Chicago heads wanna come down and hang for the weekend, I have a spare room these days now that Marty moved out.

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For all your cyber stalking needs....

I have added a profiles section to the navigation bar up top. Now you don't have to go google me all over the place and try and find out about me....you can just go there and click little links and it will take you to places I have put up more information about myself.

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I was on the news--The Reaction Post

So I was on the news. We all know it now. But the last few days have been kinda entertaining. The reactions have been fun.

  • Colin gave me a shout out on his blog.

  • My mom passed along the link to friends and family who all said I sounded smart (Liars! Isn't family sweet?).

  • Katie emailed me because she REALLY wanted to know if those were my hands (My hands are NOT that fat!).

  • Jessica (Jack attacks momma) said "Thanks for showing me that, I haven't laughed in DAYS!"


But in general, the consensus was "Wouldn't a cat's last name be REALLY hard to guess?"

Hey...I'm SORRY. I'm a funny guy. I say funny things. I can't turn it off just cause a camera is on me...in fact thats just gonna make me turn it on more. I was BORN for the spotlight ;)

In other news. I'm finally over my illness, and I think I'm gonna shave soon. I have grown a Flach style mountain man beard that makes even the manliest men tremble when I pass...but it itches my neck. Plus while trembling men = awesome, no ones cuddling up close to me either, so away it goes.

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and you--and you--and YOU were there!

So some of you know that I have been on deaths door the past three days. So I've been all hopped up on NyQuil (yeah...I know...I don't TAKE drugs), and last night I had the most stellar dream.

So I was getting ready for the pool. You know...getting my swim trunks on, putting some SPF 5 on (This was very specific in my dream), but it was seriously taking me like an hour to get ready to hit the pool. People were complaining, and telling me I was worse than a girl.

So I FINALLY get out to the pool, and its bordered by a street. The street is packed with traffic, and I'm only out there enjoying the day for about 3 minutes when all of a sudden there's a HUGE traffic accident. I'm talking cars exploding into balls of fire, body parts raining out of the sky, cars left as twisted husks of metal...the works. Well in my dream, it's become obvious that THIS is the work of terrorists. What else could it be? People are screaming and running...It's awful.

Then...after it calms down a little, out of the din of the aftermath...I hear...singing? Yeah...so up pop like five girls all dressed up in full army girl, brandishing the American flag and singing "God Bless America" at the top of their lungs. Then all the girls WATCHING join in, and it becomes VERY obvious now that this is NOT the work of terrorists, but in fact this is a PROTEST, and the whole thing was rigged/faked by these girls. So I guess the point was females can be in the military? I'm not sure WHAT they were protesting, nor why they had to use such a gruesome charade to grab our attention...but it worked. Cause you typically don't remember dreams unless you write them down right away, and...well this is like...HOURS later, and I still remember all the details.

I think THIS is why they tell you not to take expired NyQuil.

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I was on the news

Flach says they misspelled my name...somehow they spelled HUNKA with a B and an E and an N.

So yeah, I'm the expert they keep mentioning in the news cast...unlike last time, this time I could record it with my DVR, and so...I have uploaded it to youtube, so you all can watch.



PS...cats last name? WHO SAYS THAT?

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They don't MAKE them anymore?

So yesterday was PS3 day. I went out to dinner, hit up some other stores...you know, made an EVENT out of it. Because PS3 day is an important day. So I finally get to Circuit City, coupon in hand, ready to make my purchase of a 80GB Playstation 3. You know...the expensive one...the one that is backwards compatible with not ONLY the PS1 like its little brother the 40BG model, but ALSO the PS2! Yeah...THATS why I was willing to spend the extra cash, so I could play all my old games too.

But they don't MAKE the 80GB anymore. You can't walk in to ANY stores around here and get one. Maybe online they still have one or 2, but the word from Sony...."We don't make those anymore, wait for the new 120GB option."

WTF.

I want to give you guys somewhere in the neighborhood of 700 dollars, and you can't transfer one in, or give me options other than "Wait?" Oh I think not. There has to be SOME way to get one. These things have been sitting on shelves for over a year now. You still can't get a Wii, but you sure as hell can walk in and get a PS3....if you want the shitty 40GB model. Who wants that?

Oh and another thing. Probably the two best selling games right now are Ratchet and Clank, and Uncharted. Did CC have EITHER of these for sale? No. Why have the most popular games? And its not like we are talking they were sold out...no...they just didn't HAVE them. I mean if I wanted to play Happy Happy Buttsplosion 8....yeah, I coulda picked up a copy of that...but I'm not 3.

Thank's Sony and Thanks Circuit City....what a buzz kill.

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TOTALLY stuck my foot in my mouth today....

So I'm at work, and this guy and this girl are wearing the same shirt and I say "Awww...you guys are twinkies!" as in "twins." Well seeing as how LOTS of my friends are gay, I KNOW that Twinkies...or Twinks has a WHOLE other meaning. But I'm pretty sure twinkies is totally acceptable to be used for twins.

Oh....I was right, here, a list of links that use "twinkies" to talk about twins:

http://twinkies.bastetweb.com/
http://www.twinsmagazine.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=87634
http://twinmommylawchick.blogspot.com/

So anyways, I call these two people twinkies. And the guy gets TOTALLY flustered and walks off. Which was odd to me. That's when the girl, and my co-worker start talking.

"You know Ben, Twinkies has....OTHER conotations"

"Oh I'm well aware, some gay people are called twinks, or twinkies. But I didn't mean that. I just meant twins. I don't think he's gay or anything."

"Umm...he's TOTALLY out."

"oh....shit"






DAMN IT...ok, so I TOTALLY made that into a bigger deal than it was...again. Sorry. So yeah that all really happened. But then me and the guy talked in the hall later. I explained how most of my friends were gay and throw those terms around willy nilly and therefor so do I. And how they don't have negative connotations for me anyways, and really...REALLY I just meant twins...wearing the same shirt twins. He and I are cool now.

Man...that was TOTALLY a better story before I had to fess up to it not being a big deal...are you SURE you guys want the truth?

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I got a thing...

In the mail...a coupon. It gives me the ability to buy a PS3. Now I just gotta go do it.

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Spears

Seriously. Britney is past her prime. They just released her new music video...and it doesn't even feature her. Now I read the news just like you and I know that she's got alot going on right now, but maybe if shes got so much going on, she doesn't need to be releasing videos? Anyways...here it is. Animated so that we don't even need Britney anymore, and we can pretend she's still hot.

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Obama just got my vote

Net neutrality is not the biggest issue on the docket, but it's one that's pretty important to me. Just think if you had to pay extra to AT&T to post to YouTube, or use blogger? They would tier the internet, making it so you couldn't access things unless you paid a higher tier...Like basic and premium cable. Just think what it would be like if THIS was the reality:



Thankfully Obama is not gonna let that happen, or so says this movie.

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Puppy Throwing

Let's take a break from the usual, and talk about something important today.

I get my news from the internets, and right now they are exploding about this marine who threw a puppy.



I in NO WAY condone animal cruelty. But lets take a look at what actually is going on here. This guy makes a video and posts it, and becomes the poster boy for the anti-war people. "Marines have no soul!" "We are doing more harm than good over there" People get so mad they research him, find his name and address, and post it all over the internet. You want to voice your opinion to his mother? Fine, they have that address too.

I think the REAL issue here is...look at what war does to people. I bet this guy used to be an accountant or an office worker, or some sort of bean counter. Then we ship him off to war and he's a puppy killer. War DOES things to people. I mean...sure, get mad at him, but you also need to get mad at the machine that produced him. Put the blame on the source, not the end product. It's like that time they shook things up at Best Buy and started at the bottom, getting rid of employees, not managers. You have to look at WHO trained the bad employees. Start at the top, and work down. Not the other way around.

So yes, that was an awful thing to do, but I don't think coming down on the GUY is going to fix anything. Look at the bigger picture internets.

Oh...and isn't this heartless bastard the kind of guy you want fighting a war for you? You can sit here and worry about how you are gonna make rent while other people worry if they are gonna wake up in the morning. I say...let em throw a few puppies so I can have my double mocha half caf espresso every morning.

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