The Devils Egg
I went to ALOT of parties last weekend. A cookout on Friday (FINALLY, one I wasn't hosting) at a friends house, and then Children of the Corn Fest at Dop and Baby J's.
Monday, August 31, 2009
While both were filled with beer and delicious food, this particular story comes from the Dop's party, courtesy of the Johnsons.
Apparently its a tradition to make a tray of deviled eggs, but hide what can only be described as the worlds hottest hot sauce in four of the eggs.
That's a fun game...when you tell everyone about it. But when you show up to the party after its already been announced, and three of the four eggs are already eaten so you have no idea whats coming...it's not so fun.
So obviously I got the fourth egg, but that's not the best part. Who expects a egg to be hot? So when the heat started, I figured it was from the HOT WING I was also eating....so what better way to counter act the heat, than the egg yolk and whatever other shit goes into those deviled eggs? So I shove the rest of the egg into my mouth to stop the heat.
I guess the look on my face was some mixture of confusion and anger. I wish I could have seen it but I was too busy wiping the tears from my eyes and chugging a beer and trying to figure out what was going on.
Needless to say between the cold snap that night, and the immediate draining of my sinuses, I was dealing with a pressure change inside my body like no other. When I went to sleep that night my head was literally throbbing. Like I reached up and could feel my temples moving in and out.
Fun times. Lesson Learned. Don't eat anything at a party unless you brought it.
Labels: life lessons
I got fired
Got your attention? Good.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
So Greg's NOT coming back to Champaign, at least not in any long term capacity. So I was asked "What do you want to do about the trivia show?"
While I do love doing the show part of it, the prep work is a little more than I have time to handle. That and with school back in session my lovely assistant is done-zo, so the work just doubled.
I answered back, "I can't do it forever."
"Ok, I already hired someone else, they will be taking over in three weeks"
Wait, what? You JUST got my answer, how have you already hired someone?
All jokes aside, I'm glad I finally have an end date. It was really weird hanging out in limbo waiting on Greg to make a decision to come back or not to come back. This always was going to be a summer gig.
I don't feel "fired." I was hoping there was a backup plan to take the reins back from me. I just wanted to get a little dramatic on you...it makes for a better post.
I tell you what I WON'T miss...the regulars. Know why? Cause my ass will be sitting right there with them on Tuesdays. It was super cool getting to know and entertain them all for a few months, but I think it might be even more fun to compete against them.
Move-in weekend. Overnight our little city's population increased by 50%. Campus bars and fast food places breathe a collective sigh of relief as they made it through the dry season (pun intended). The streets in my neighborhood are packed with cars from people who park JUST off campus and bus it in.
Monday, August 24, 2009
And as always there is a new crop of idiot kids, who are impressed with simple things, like the fact that you can buy alcohol, that you have a car, or that it unlocks from a block away. Ah yes...I love the U of I.
And finally the criminals turn their eyes from MY house, to YOUR dorms and apartments. Yep, I sleep a little safer at night knowing that every student is a walking target, and they all live across town from me.
But there is a down side to all of this. No more Sunday dinners at Flattop, or a walk around campus on a Saturday afternoon. Nope. All that easy parking and campus food is gone. Can't go back to campus bars now either. I went a few times this summer, and it was ok. Cheapest place to drink by far, but forget that, it's just not worth it when the students are back.
But it's a small price to pay for financial stability and peace of mind...plus, they will be gone in 9 months, and by then, who knows what businesses will have closed and opened. It will be a whole new place to explore.
Ten titties out...and I didn't even see one!
I went to a pool party this weekend.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
La la la, all fun and games. Lotsa booze, lotsa people. We had a diving contest. It was a hot muggy day which just slightly cooled off for the night. Swimming was a pleasant diversion.
Then someone mentioned getting topless (I already was...cause I'm cool like that).
Five tops came off and all of a sudden there were a bunch of topless girls in the pool. Grand. 'Cept...the lights were out and all the girls were in the water up to their necks.
Five pairs of bared breasts, and I saw bupkus. I call party foul.
So Kendle was NOT one of the ones topless. I hear through the grapevine that one boyfriend who was not there feels a little left out, and says "If Ben got to see her (meaning his girlfriends) boobs, I get to see Kendles boobs AND butt."
There is two things wrong with this:
a) Boobs for boobs my friend. I'm not sure why you feel like you get boobs and butt. Your girlfriend is awesome, but not so awesome that 2 of her boobs = two boobs and two cheeks on Kendle.
b) Not for a lack of trying, but I didn't see anything anyways. So if anything...YOUR girlfriend owes ME 30 minutes of my life back, for NOT showing it all off.
I'm thinking cookout, and I'm thinking Sunday
I walked work to the Chinese place up the street today. Someone had set up a road side BBQ stand. DAMN I miss the smell of meat grilling on hot coals.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
I gotta cookout, in a REAL bad way. Invites via FaceBook to follow.
Tomorrow I'm looking forward to watching Transformers. No, not that one...I just watched it. I'm talking the 1986 animated classic. I saw it in theaters. I was 6. No really, this really happened to me when I was 6. I remember it cause it was the first movie mom let Chris and I go see alone. She either had errands to run, or had no interest in seeing this movie. Either way she gave us some cash and dropped us off at the theater.
So we get inside and sit down. We had gotten there a hair early, and this older guy (so maybe what...15?) sat down in the row behind us.
So this guy starts telling us the story about how he cut the legs off his kitchen table, and skate boarded in his house till his mom yelled at him.
Looking back that story had to be fabricated.
I don't remember a thing about the movie. Period. That's why I'm pretty excited to watch it again tomorrow. After the movie was over, the kid behind us begged us to stay and watch the credits. He wanted to know who voiced Optimus Prime.
I can't say for sure if he was creepy, or just lonely (it was an afternoon movie...there was no one else in the theater) for some interaction. Either way we scooted our little butts out of there and went and played Joust till mom showed up.
Because EVERYONE should have one of these...
I feel like everyone should have their own video of crazy girls dancing to popular songs on Youtube, and now I have two! Enjoy my last Friday night, archived for however long YT remains up. The parts you don't see are how the night started (Transformers on Blu-Ray), the middle (bar crawl on campus and downtown), or how the night ended (Pokey sticks at 2:30 am, followed by a massive sleep over cause no one was ok to drive).
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Quote of the day
"I like toast…rye toast is my favorite."
Sunday, August 09, 2009
My girlfriend cracks me up.
Funniest thing said to me in a week
Them: "So how's Andrew Flach?"
Friday, August 07, 2009
Me: "Oh, I don't think I've talked to him in awhile. I know he just moved to Chicago."
Them: "Oh...did he at least leave you some dishes?"
I'm in the paper!
Here's a direct link to the article.
Thursday, August 06, 2009
I don't remember saying EXACTLY those words, but hey, she had the tape recorder. I'm actually really proud of myself. I didn't think I had it in me to host a weekly show. I've done Bingo before, and I even did a full round of trivia. But all that was all one or two shows. Never over two months in a row. Greg also handed me the questions, so to come up with all the questions for two months was a challenge.
Robb has also been awesome, he has come up with new ideas and I've found ways to incorporate them. Some of them worked (Are you smarter than Ben?) and some have not (Press your luck), but at least we tried them.
Of course the best part is the people I've met, and consider friends. The Chandlers, who continue to bring cake and pie when told not to :), the Huxtibles, who make sure to be there every week and heckle me, Java, Wishfull Drinking, Dewy Ever, Steve Holt....there's just too many to name them all...Grrretchens Army, Thunder Cats Go (Ho?), Esther Greenwood.....Leading Ladies.
If I forgot anyone I apologize. But the people in the crowd are the real stars, because with out them, there would be no show. A sincere thank you to all who come on a regular basis.
Pictures from the article:
They even took my picture!
The Buzz was at trivia last night, snapping my picture for the article, which they claim will be printed tomorrow.
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
For you out of towners, I think you will be able to go here:
Last night was awesome. Robb, Jayk, Adam, Sarah, Jenn (yep). All we were missing was Newton and it would have been some serious 10 Cane Club action.
Copa Cabana was sung, beers and shots were drunk in excess, and of course, I had to roll into work at 8:30 and be productive. It really makes one feel like a rock star when they can party all night and work all day, and not really feel the effects. The secret is to not do TOO many shots, and slowly drink beer all night.
Maintain your buzz, but don't over do it.
Kendle says I woke up drunk. Hey...just cause I wake you up singing "New York New York," and mess up the lyrics doesn't mean I'm drunk!
More Trivia Dreams
So Kendle has to study physics, her test is tomorrow. I had to find a replacement, and since its been just under a year since I've seen her, Jenn
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
Now I want to preface this with the fact that the job I asked of her is super easy, I have complete confidence in her ability to do it, and I really don't know WHY this was my dream, but here goes:
First off, its windy in Boltini, cause Jenn let all the answer sheets fly out the window (and be ruined in the rain), so I had to make an announcement that everyone had to just write their answers down on a blank sheet of paper. Well then I go to find the sheet to write the team names down, and it's already been filled out by one of the bar staff, cept they filled it in with "offense" and "defense" names and not team names (don't ask me...it was a dream).
So I'm like "Fuck it, lets just get into round one" and there are cheers from the audience. Now I can't find the question sheets. Robb had some sort of backup trivia questions he said I could use, so he ran off to find them. I started going through my backpack (which was actually a suitcase, with a duffel bag inside, and inside that...my backpack. Which I haven't used in 6 years) to find my iPhone, which was missing too.
That's when I woke up.
You ever have those dreams where you wake up and it's like "whew...im not actually going to jail" or whatever you were dreaming about. Yeah...that was this. But I was exhausted, so I fell back asleep.
So now I have the questions, people are writing on blank sheets of paper, and I have no score sheet, but I trudge ahead. It's now 45 minutes from when we were supposed to start (again, not sure why that was a point made in the dream...but it was) and I look at my recovered answer sheets...cept that's all it is...answers. No questions.
Then I woke up again.
"What a terrible dream, Ben" or "A nightmare for sure!" is what you are probably saying.
Naw, that was cake compared to the last week's worth of dreams. Ex's ex's and MORE ex's. A different one every night. Bad trivia shows are a welcome change of pace.
So I started listening to Frank Sinatra last week. You can blame my current Ocean's Eleven obsession. It's not like I was REALLY cool and actually listened to good music the whole time or anything.
Monday, August 03, 2009
So anyways, I find a few renditions of "My Way" of big name singers singing their last show and doing "My Way." I didn't understand it at the time, but on the last Bingo we did that too. I was pretty toasted at the last Bingo.
Does anyone else think it's kinda odd that a song about doing it your own way, has been sung by so many people, and for the same reason? They aren't really going out...doing it their own way, are they?