Restoring my faith in humanity....one broken car at a time
Friday, November 27, 2009
I've become very cynical in my "old age." I don't trust my neighbors, I size up people who walk on the same side of the street of me, and I assume everyone who comes into Simplified is probably trying to steal something. So when Kendle parked outside my parents house and got her mirror knocked off her car, I was not surprised. No note, no nothing. Just a smash and run. My first assumption was that it those fucks who live down the street from my parents. Surely their kids were walking down the street and thought "hey...you know whats fun? Vandalism" and got their jollies off, not knowing that it costs somewhere in the neighborhood of 300 dollars to fix such a problem. I am also a firm believer in Karma. So I was not too crazy worried about it all, because I knew whoever was responsible would somehow end up out 300 dollars or more (preferably lose a limb or something) later in life.
Well HOLY FUCK, that was not to be the end of the story. The person who hit the car (talk about accuracy...smash the mirror but don't touch the car) comes back and leaves a note at my parents house, fessing up to it, as well as leaving contact information. It's a Black Friday Miracle!
More importantly, this does restore my faith in the human race a little. Not only did they try to come back that night (so says the note), but when the car was no longer there, they returned again after Thanksgiving with the note.
Way to go humans, it's nice to know you got my back again.
Labels: karma, Kendle, Simplified Computers
Happy t-day
Thursday, November 26, 2009
From all of us here at hunka.net…happy thanksgiving!Let's all say what we are thankful for. I'm thankful for all you guys who continue to read and enjoy this site.
Pat yourselves on the back.
Labels: Thanksgiving, website
My Phonebook
Friday, November 20, 2009
So I'm at my parents house last night, and we got to talking about past girlfriends. Why? I don't know. Oh right...cause according to my dad all my girlfriends had weird eating habits. This came up cause Kendle doesn't eat grilled food.My contention was that he only ever ate with two on a regular basis, and possibly four in total, so he would have no idea about my ex-girlfriends eating habits.
But that's neither here nor there. The point came up and he was like "How many ex's numbers do you have in your phone?"
I had no idea. I thought for SURE there would be some in there.
The answer was zero. I am not a guy who likes to throw numbers out. I have gotten in to many problems where someone (guys and girls) from a long time ago would text me or call me and I would have no idea who it was. So I learned very quickly on to always keep numbers in my phone. Just in case (or as we used to say in High school--Jick). Somewhere along the line some pruning happened or something.
So you are all on alert, and by all I mean girls...guys...whoever. If we haven't talked in awhile, don't text me. I won't know who you are and I will get all crazy trying to figure it out.
Labels: Kendle, Pappa Hunka
Email
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
You know what I miss? Email. I used to get email all day long from all kinds of people. They were good emails. "Here's what I'm doing today" or "Wasn't that crazy the other day" or "Did you SEE this link yet?"Now all I ever get are emails about the specials at a bar, or work related stuff.
What ever happened to the friendly emails?
Perhaps it makes me archaic to say that, like a grandma wanting her sons to write a letter and stick it in an envelope and mail it. Perhaps in this age of twitter and Facebook the craft of the personalized email is dead? I should be back on twitter just getting the mass updates from people?
So you know what...I DO care what you ate for breakfast, or that you just blew a tire, but I'd rather it come straight to me. I guess it lets me know you are thinking of ME in your time of crisis, and not thinking of yourself.
Labels: email, Facebook, rant, technology
Now MY arms hurt
Monday, November 16, 2009

But not from pole dancing. From raking. Not only are my arms and back and wrists all super sore, but I did this to my hand.
I'm pretty sure this is the first time ever that I've raked at the house. Kendle said it would kill the grass, and I just spent like 80 dollars on grass seed, so I dont want that to happen.
So I raked Saturday and Sunday, and only got the back yard done. Now it's raining so nothing else is getting raked. So I'm all moany and groany Sunday afternoon, and Kendle says:
"What's wrong with you?"
"I'm sore"
"From pole dancing?"
My girlfriend is awesome. While I did go to Cly's the night before, I did not pole dance, but she's clever, and came up with that joke all on her own. Yay for her.
Wait what...you went to Cly's?
Yeah, and there's a great story there too. So yes, I felt way to old to be in there, cause I was. But that's not the fun part.
So we are trying to find Kendle's friend, as it's time to do shots. So I'm walking around with five ladies, trying to find him. We end up going to the top floor. The ladies walk right upstairs and start looking around. I was behind them all, and as soon as I hit the top step, some employee askes me for my wrist band, which I show him, as I got it at the door.
"No, this is a private party, you can't be up here, with out one of these." he says and shows me a different wrist band.
"Oh...my bad...Hey Kendle, girls..? We cant be up here, it's private."
So me and the five ladies start to head back down, and all of a sudden the same employee is like "oh, it's not that big a deal if you want to stay"
Yeah right. If I didn't pull all those girls with me when I left, I would NEVER have been asked to stay. Fuck that place and it's private party.
And you are all reading this and you are like "Ben's just pissed cause he couldn't get into the private party"
Not so.
I'm pissed that the guy didn't stick to his guns and actually had the balls to say "why don't you come back" If it's private its private. Its not private--cept for the guy who brings a bunch of girls. (and I didn't even bring them, they brought me :) )
Ah, reverse sexism at its best. Ladies, please stop complaining about the extra dollar and a half we make over you for the same job. Clearly you get some perks we don't and we spend that extra cash on you anyways.
Labels: bars, campus, home improvement, Kendle
Friends
Thursday, November 12, 2009

So I had alot of time to think on my death bed, and in between the bouts of cramps, and high fevers (or maybe DURING the fevers) I came to the conclusion that you gotta love and enjoy the moments you have with anyone.
Like for instance, a little over a year ago we had a group of friends who had no business being friends, but we all got along and all had a blast doing it. I didn't know I could sing Karaoke...but I did. I didn't know I had it in me to stand up in front of a room and entertain...but I learned how. And we had great moments where everyone was laughing and having a good time.
Whatever it was, whether it was the mix of people, or a mix of attitudes, or a mix of lifestyles...it was magic. EVERYone in that group had a blast whenever we were all together.
But everything changes so quickly. People pair off, or some shit happens in your personal life, or whatever the catalyst may be, but if you threw those same people in a room today, it wouldn't be the same. Most of those people I haven't talked to in a long time. It sucks, but I even think it would be weird to talk to them now. What would I say?
So my point is, if you catch yourself smiling alot, appreciate that moment, and don't take it for granted because it's a unique experience, and you probably won't get another one like it.
Well...ok, you will probably get more like it, but it might not be with those people or at that place. And I'm not getting all sappy and looking back longingly or anything. I know that closing one chapter just starts a new one. I've started over enough times to know that.
Labels: random thoughts, sappy
Russian Night Witches
Monday, November 09, 2009
How bad ass is that? Doesn't just seeing those words together inspire fear and mystery?What if instead I called them Nachthexen? Yeah...give it some German flair.
Well the real story is that these poor Germans in WW2 were getting the shit bombed out of them at night. Turns out the Nachthexen, or "Night Witches" were female bomber pilots who ran night missions, and were named thusly by their German targets.
So, not so scary right? Now take a look at these "ladies."

Yeah, not witches and certainly not mysterious anymore, but still...scary as fuck.
Labels: history lesson
"My arms hurt"
Saturday, November 07, 2009
So my girlfriend goes out on a bar crawl. Me? I think I'm finally too old to go out on a Tuesday to drink till 2am AND be at work the next morning. Joke's on me cause that was the day I got a stomach bug, and didn't need to go to work for a few days anyways. But that's not the point of this post.So my girlfriend, bless her heart, actually comes HOME from the bar crawl. The next morning she's all "My arms hurt...my back aches" and "can you rub my back for me?"
Now, I'm at the start of what will be five days of stomach cramps (yeah yeah ladies, you do it once a month...but I don't, so it's newsworthy) including two days of running a high fever, so I try to get out of it, and ask:
"Honey, why do your arms and back hurt"
"From the POLE!"
"The what?"
"The pole dancing."
Of course *eye roll*. How could I forget that if you put my girlfriend and a pole in the same room...pole dancing is guaranteed to happen.
She's the life of the party.
So it took like four days, but I finally felt well enough to ease her poor arms and back.
End of story.
This town sucks
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
I bet OTHER towns got the new Jak and Daxter on the release day.We didn't.
I guess I'm glad I called around first, but seriously there's some kid in LA or New York or something playing my game right now...and I have to wait.
It's not fair.
Labels: PC game
Breakfast of champions

This was my status a few days ago, for those of you who can't see these things. And while I won't be that guy who drinks soda in the morning, apparently I will be that guy who has four fun sized leftover Halloween candy bars for breakfast.
I don't feel so good...
Labels: Facebook, Halloween, sick
I've waited five years for tomorrow
Monday, November 02, 2009
It was almost five years ago that Jak 3 was released. And Fuck that Jak X game. That was worthless, so we wont count it's release in the wait time.While its not really a squeal, because its not called Jak 4, nor is it produced by Naughydog, it's still a Jak game and therefore, tomorrow at lunch...you know where I'll be.
In a section I like to call "cool by proxy," I had lunch with a young lady yesterday who said "T-Shaw" called her up last August, claiming to be a big reality TV star, and asked her out. What show is he on? "Tool Academy 2." Clearly the young lady did not go out with him. Unfortunately being on a show because you are the worst boyfriend ever doesn't get you dates. Well anyways...he hit on her, and I know her, so I feel that by proxy...I've been hit on by T-shaw...and I'm ok with that.
Course now I'm trying to count back and figure out...did he call her BEFORE or AFTER the show taped? Because these guys are supposed to not know they are going on it...so if he called her BEFORE, it's all a sham. If he called her AFTER, he didn't win, and I should start taking bets now as to who will be eliminated on Sunday.
Labels: PC game
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