In reference to her husband
Thursday, May 27, 2010

...nuff said
Labels: funny because its true
Man!
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Sometimes I just want to watch giant robots blow each other up all day:But instead I have to deal with spreadsheets and pie charts. Well not pie charts, that was more a quote than anything else.

Prologue
It's unfortunate that the above movie is THE BEST representation of Transformers. I searched for the forest fight scene for like 10 minutes and finally gave into just looking for a "best of"
The forest fight scene is bad ass, but due to copyright infringements the BEST thats out there is this, and THATS only because of the music they used. All the other dipshits out there were using cameras pointed at their TV's and alternate soundtracks that didn't sync up as well as the one above.
Labels: movies, rant, Wolfram, youtube
My weekend was good
Monday, May 24, 2010
My buddy asked me how my weekend was. At first I thought it was a pretty uneventful weekend, but as I got to talking to him, it turned out it was pretty stellar."I went out Friday night and got drunk, so THAT was fun" I told him. Then I told him a bunch of boy talk, for his ears only stuff...you don't get to hear that.
"Saturday was work, and Kendle moved, but then she came back and bought me dinner...so THAT was fun. Then I drank beers on my porch, which is ALWAYS fun."
Wait, what? Kendle moved you say? Yep. She's in Decatur for the summer working at some food company. I guess she's baking or something.
Sidenote: Xavier came home as she was packing, asked what was up and when she replied that she was moving out he got so worried that we had broken up he had to double take and stumble over his words of apology. Then she corrected herself, and told him the whole story, and he was relieved.
"Then Sunday I walked downtown with my super hot used-to-be-a-model girlfriend and we got pizza, and went to the nerd store, and walked home. So THAT was fun." I said to finish my story.
So then Kendle left for real at like...3:00 or so. I proceeded to sit down and play WAY to many video games. Then the sun set, so I could go outside and mow my lawn without melting. THAT was NOT fun, but it was necessary.
And that was my weekend
Labels: downtown, Kendle, Weekend, Xavier
The best joke I ever stole
Friday, May 21, 2010
Yesterday at 9:30am I was talking to my buddy Jayk.I said, "What time is it in Seattle?"
"It's 7:30 there."
And then I made this joke:
"Damn Seattle, you BEHIND the times!"
...Wakka Wakka Wakka!
Hunka Dot Net Official Underwear
Thursday, May 20, 2010
So I wanted to include this in the last post about underwear, but the damn service has an approval process! I suppose I should have known better than to think I could make underwear with my logo on it in under 5 hours.Oh well...three logo submissions later (their approval process is REALLY picky) we have these:
Official Hunka Dot Net Underwear! Cute white cottons with groundbreaking Butt-O-Text. Make your boyfriend jealous, or be the talk of your sleepover. Nothing says "Let's pillow fight!" like our underwear.
The second pair have silver and gold to let everyone know you paid a dollar more, and black to let everyone know you're down for whatever.No really, I didn't just Photoshop my logo on some stock photo, you can actually order them. Just click on the images above, or check out the merchandise tab above.
For those of you stopping by for the first time, you should know I make no money off this stuff, it's for fun. I'm not a company...I don't run ads and I don't make any money off this site, same with the merch. I'm just a dude with a website, but if you wanna show your hunka.net love, order away! Plus, what woman doesn't want Hunka on their....junka?
PS
Seriously if someone buys anything...let me know via the contact form. I expect awesome pictures of you in your Hunka shirts, etc.
Labels: hunka, underwear, website
Post number 666
Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Today's post is post number six hundred and sixty six. Creepy, I know. Now, of course if you go back and count them all, you wont find that many. There was a period where I changed blogs and upon importing I didn't publish them all. Then there was the time I was interviewing for the job at Wolfram, so I took a bunch of stuff down.
But yeah... 666 posts. That's book worthy really. I mean, thats ALOT of content. I think it was last year at Aarons wedding when my boss asked me "What goals do you have?" and I replied with "I'd like to be a published author" which surprised her.
Probably mostly because she knew me back THEN, when I had other priorities, and never expected me to have such an "academic" goal.
But this is Web 2.0, you can't print this. There are links to other posts, there are music and movie embeds, there are email links, links to other sites on the web. So while I may not be a published author in the traditional sense, I seem to certainly have published SOMETHING.
Mission accomplished.
Wow. 666 posts. I feel like the devil should pop in leave me some well wishes or something.
Labels: blog
See! I told you!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Just to understand UNDERWEAR you have to understand social networking. See...it's starting. I told you earlier, and no one believed me. Well here we go. No one whos NOT a part of Facebook would understand this, or want it. But if you ARE a part of it, you get it.
Oh whats that? You think they are cute, don't you? You probably spend more time on Facebook than you do working. Well how much would you be willing to pay for 'em?
How 'bout free?
Click here, print out the PDF, and head to your local mall and get them.
Labels: Facebook, free, underwear
First ever Stanage Street Sprint
Monday, May 17, 2010
Yeah, yeah...it's Stanage Avenue, not street, but think of it more like a "Street Sprint" not the name of the street. The whole idea to race came up when a week earlier I challenged (or maybe I was challenged) Laura to a race at our cookout. We bet one beverage and she indeed showed up ready to race. But I was busy on the grill feeding the 30 people at our house and the race did not happen till way later. By then everyone had gotten wind of the bet and wanted in. So the race turned into a dollar entry fee, first place takes all, second place gets it's dollar back.
THEN Taylor had the great idea to FILM it, and thus...you get to watch it. I really recommend you turn your speakers up to get the full effect of how dramatic this race was.
So I didn't win, but I did get my dollar back. For the record if you look closely, Jayk looks over his shoulder near the finish line and smiles at me like "I got you, you chicken legged son-of-a-bitch!"
But you will notice...no Laura?! Yeah, thats right, once there was an entry fee she backed out...BUT we did race later. It was actually a three way race. Again, I came in second, beating Laura and winning that drink, but I did loose to an asian man in a bikini. No joke, here's the photo proof (sorry for the blur):

He took the towel off for the actual race.
Well, that was MY Friday evening. And I wasn't too bad Saturday, I thought for sure I was gonna be sore. But Sunday left me hobbled in bed, barely able to get up and go see Robin Hood (NOT as good as the "Prince of Thieves").
Labels: Jayk, party, running, Stanage, Stoop, Taylor, youtube
Lady Gaga
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
I saw some video today of a boy singing "Paparazzi" on Youtube.Everyone's going nuts over it. I guess it's pretty ok, but the REAL story here is I then went on to try and remind myself what the real song was like. I found her 2009 VMA performance.
You will notice I didn't put the word her in quotes.
I'm now 100% convinced she is a she, and not a he. I'm assuming the swimsuit esq outfit and the playing the piano with her legs over her head was to get rid of all those rumors.
But seriously, why are we wasting time talking abut this, let's just listen to some REAL music:
Social Media...you know, facebook, flicker, twitter......
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
I still have some friends who are not of Facebook. I have some friends who REFUSE to get on it. Yes, there are dangers associated with putting to much information online, but if you ask me (and this video), it's getting to the point where you NEED to be on it.It's fine to hate facespace and the tweety bird, but at the end of the day, if you DON'T participate you are probably being left out in the cold.
Let's say you are starting a business, and you want to have some sort of online presence. If you asked me 3 years ago what you should do, I'd say "get a website, optimize it for Google." But that's not good enough now. Now you need to be optimized on Facebook, you need to have followers, and THOSE people will recommend you to OTHER people. THATS how you grow a business. Why? Cause THATS where people are getting their info, from FRIENDS, not ads or being top ranked. It's just like the video said, we don't search for news...the news finds us. That was just three years ago. If you aren't part of a social site now, how will you find out what the NEXT thing to promote your brand will be?
We used to talk about being illiterate, and how bad that was, then it was computer illiteracy, and how you can't get a job if you can't use a computer. Now 95% of companies recruit off linkedin. Hate your job? Better get on some social sites and get a new one. Being Social media illiterate may become the new stigma.
So go ahead friends of mine...hold out and think that all this "nonesense" is just for 13 year old girls, but there may come a time when sending an email instead of a tweet will be just like when your grandma sends you a handwritten note and clips a news paper article for you.
Think about it.
P.S.
Mom's and Dad's are exempt from the above statement. In fact, don't get on Facebook, thats creepy ;)
I went and saw these guys on Friday
Monday, May 10, 2010
Same Haircut, CU's up and coming DJ's/Dance Troupe. Yeah, that's right. I said it. DJ's and dancing.Mike and Molly's is a terrible venue. Everytime I go there, the audio mix is horrible. You can barely hear the music, the vocals are completely lost and its HOT up there. I would always leave there feeling really old. Like...my ears weren't working right, and everyone else was hearing fine.
Not so last Friday. Yeah, I could actually HEAR the music, and let me tell you it was downright awesome. You can decide for yourself, the internet lets me show you stuff rather than just talk about it:
Oh and if you wanna see their hot dance moves, here's some dance practice stuff set to NOT their music:
Same haircut is from the future as near as I could gather. When we asked them if they had a CD we could purchase, they responded "In the future you already bought 3 copies"
"Oh...did I like it?" one of my friends asked.
"In the future, everyone loves it."
So that's their thing. Time travel or the future or whatever, and they DON'T break character, even when the show is over and they are tearing down their equipment.
So friend them on facebook, and look out for that CD. They said you like it too...in the future.
Labels: bars, Champaign, downtown, future trends, music, review
Voice control on the iPhone SUCKS
Friday, May 07, 2010
So I'm walking to work today, and I hold down the home button on my iPhone and say "Play album 'The Downward Spiral'"It chugs for a second and then says "Playing Album Replay" and plays this instead:
Yeah, I have that on my iPhone, get over it. The point is, its NOT anything close to Trent. Shit it doesn't even have the same number of syllables. In further testing it's pretty much a 50-50 split between Replay and La Vida by Coldplay.
*Sigh* at least when I ask it to call people it usually gets that right.
My arch enemy
Thursday, May 06, 2010
Last Friday we were sitting around the bar when my arch-enemy walked in. Rachel.
No not that one. Rachel Ruiz. I reminded her we were fighting, but I could not remember why. She said it was due to some judging she had done. Dave chimed in and offered that we should be mortal enemies, and I said it was more like a super hero and an arch enemy.
At this point Rachel offered to be the arch enemy, so now she is my arch enemy. Well you can't just be "Rachel Ruiz, arch enemy" so I gave her a villain name "Judge Rachel" and drew this picture of her:

Her powers are that her earrings turn into that huge disc you see there, and she throws it at peoples heads. Her mace also changes into a huge gavel for extra judginess. Then I put her in a bikini cause MY arch enemy dresses sexy when she goes out. Dave added a small lock on her naughty bits, I assume this is to keep her from getting into trouble.
But what about me? I'm a super hero, what are my super powers? Well much like aqua man who can call the fishes...I call the bitches.
See, the way I see it, Judge Rachel starts doing some horrendous crime where she falsely accuses someone of something (like always), and then I show up on the scene and I'm all "STOP fiend!" in my best super hero voice. Then she's all "HA! You and what army?" and I blow my Super Hunka whistle and all the sluts, hookers, and lady drug dealers race to my call. These aren't bitches like "Oh that girl is so bitchy" or anything...these are HARD women. You don't wanna meet these women.
Then they just mob her. Sure she may take a few out, but they are bitches, who cares? Its purely a numbers game. Eventually they would overpower her, and I would cuff her. Slowly all the women wake up from their trance and disperse.
End scene.
Labels: Boltini, funny because its true, random thoughts, rant, writing
I'm a CARTOON!
Wednesday, May 05, 2010
So I was in a video game, and that was pretty cool. Once someone put my license plate in Saint's Row 2...but I can't find that post or image anymore. Sad day. THAT was cool too.Now my buddy Dave has made me into a cartoon! I'm a huge fan. Check it:

I added the reference photo for you guys, in case you have never seen it...I'm not sure how you wouldn't have, I use it everywhere.
The second image is some sorta free hand version of me. I'm not sure why I have a popped collar, but who cares...I'M A FREAKING CARTOON!
Fan art rocks.
If you like that, you should check out his web comic. He's got 40 or so pages you can read through about these two nerds exploring a haunted mansion. Takes a few pages to get to the meat of the story, but character establishment is important too :)
Labels: 15 mins of fame, comics, Dave
Surveying my kingdom
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
So I woke up crazy early today, I have no idea why but I was up. Kendle was getting ready in the bathroom, so I went downstairs and grabbed a bowl of cereal and thought to myself "Man it's a nice day, I should eat this outside"So I went outside with my bowl of cereal. It really must have been a sight, me standing there all proud shoveling Fruity Pebbles into my mouth. But that mental image aside, it WAS really nice out there. It reminded me of the morning I decided to buy the house.
This is where the scene gets all wavy and misty then pops back into view with me wearing different cloths and looking a little younger, so you know it's a flash back.
It was probably three years ago to the day really, because it was the same temperature, cold but when the sun hit you it was warm enough to be outside. The air was wet and damp from all the dew on the grass. I have a tree that sits right in front of the door, which blocks the view of the street, and it was now in full bloom. The hum of Niel Street could barely be heard as Champaign woke up.
I remember being asked that morning on the porch what I was thinking about doing. At that time I had it set in my mind to be gone. I didn't want to be tied down to a house, I needed to be able to move at a moments notice.
But my parents were selling it, and if someone bought it who wanted to move in, they would kick us out, either that or raise the rent on us. A few days before, I had been advised about how it was a bad time to buy a house, and shouldn't do it. So with that buzzing in my ear, I bent over and took a hold of the porch railing and looked out at the yard."It's a good porch." I said softly.
"You HAVE renters, it's not like you'd be paying for it all yourself, plus houses always go up in value."
"True." I replied, "Alright, I'll do it, I'll buy the house."
Annnnnd back to the wavy/misty cross fade to present day.
So I finished my bowl of cereal and went back up stairs for my iPhone so I could walk to work. Kendle was out of the bathroom and sitting on the bed, finishing up her morning routine.
"I thought you were gone, I heard the door close, where were you?"
"Surveying my kingdom!" I replied and grandly gestured out the second floor windows.
She laughed and I smiled back at her. 99% of the time I'm joking...but this...this had a little seriousness to it.
I was THIS CLOSE to getting out of town when all that happened, and swayed my mind. I guess part of me thought I could always just rent it out as a second form of income. Collect slum lord rent checks from wherever I landed. But I didn't. I stayed, and I don't regret a second of it.
It's a really great porch after all.
Labels: Chicago, iphone, Kendle, Stanage, Stoop
Saturday
Monday, May 03, 2010
Well I was pleasantly surprised when Saturday afternoon my phone rang. Not only because of my new ring tone [preview], but because it was of all people...NATE LUMAN. Who I will now introduce as "my friend from way back in high school" because he says introducing him as "my old roommate" is inaccurate and offensive.So my old friend from way back in high school calls me cause he is in town for the weekend and needs some entertainment. I do love the fact that people call me when they need something to do, makes me feel like I know whats going on around here. Or at the very least, that people enjoy my company.
Turns out I AM the person to call, because it just so happened that I was going to a birthday party that night. Well I must say it was a good night. Pizza and beer at Village Inn, home of the coldest beer on tap, then it was back to Trent's to hang out, drink, and play some music. I had my "new" friends (read: made after high school) and my old friend there. Sure we did a little catching up and talking about shit that happed way back when, but I also introduced him around and we chatted it up with everyone.
At one point in the evening Nate tells me what a good time he's having and how he hasn't been to a party like this in a long time. I felt bad for him, because I don't want to live in a world where parties like that don't happen every weekend. To that I say...don't WAIT for shit to happen...make it happen! Throw a party Nate, you have a house now.
P.S.
That is for serious my ringtone now. You can download that ringtone and others here.
P.P.S.
I can't find a picture of Nate without his hottie fiancée. I suppose it's a good thing they are getting married as they appear to be attached at the hip :) She wasn't there, but she should have been...stupid work, always getting in the way!
Labels: Birthday, Champaign, iphone, Nate, Trent
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