You can't take me ANYWHERE

So I'm sitting in the California Pizza Chicken in Shaumburg for lunch yesterday when who should walk in but Megan Wolf from Champaign.

"YOU LIVE IN SHAUMBURG!?" she squealed.

"No..no" was all I could get out before she continued.

"I'm going to tell everyone you live in Shaumburg!"

That was the end of our polite back and forth that you do when you meet someone you know randomly. But then I got to thinking...and maybe she didn't know we moved to Chicago. Maybe she really is going to go back to Champaign, and tell everyone that we moved to Shaumburg, and the people who DO know we moved, would get really confused.

So...for the record, if you hear we moved to Shaumburg, we didn't. We moved to Logan Square, and by the time you read this, we may already have keys to the place!

But for the record people...I'm STILL kinda a big deal, even in Chicago. I know Sheila was worried about me being a small fish in a big pond, but clearly I'm still being recognized while "out" :)

Oh, and it's by birthday...happy birthday to me :)

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It's all I've ever really wanted out of life...

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Welcome to CHICAGO!

So I'm on the CTA bus on Friday. I was on my way back from lunch with Colin. The guy across from us starts getting sleepy...and he kinda passes out on to this old Polish lady's grocery cart. She yells for the bus driver to help. Colin jumps up and yells at the guy, trying to wake him up. He later told me he was (rightfully) scared to touch the guy right away, cause he might wake up and knife him. He was not responding at all. Colin finally moves the guy off the old lady and her cart, and she scoots out of the way.

The bus driver stopped the bus and starts dealing with the situation, so Colin returns to his seat and we watch this play out.

Well the guy finally wakes up, and lets the bus driver know where he's heading. The bus does not go to that location, or anywhere near there. The man refuses paramedics, explaining his behavior with "I hit my head right before I got on the bus."

I look at Colin and ask "Could you smell Booze on him?"

"Nope."

"Then he's not drunk is he?"

"Nope."

So the bus driver, goes above and beyond what he's paid to do, and walks the guy across the street to the bus stop that he needs to be at. This is when the lady next to us stands up, goes over to where this guy dropped some papers and hands them to the returning bus driver, who now has to RE-cross the street to hand him his papers.

Well the papers were Jail Discharge papers. So this guy was fresh out of jail on drug bender, passing out on old ladies.

WELCOME TO CHICAGO HUNKA!

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No longer an Aquarius


So the earth has changed positions, and therefore, they added a astrological sign, and shifted the others around to make room.

Some people are going nuts because they believe in it so much that I guess they fear their personalities are going to change or something.

But the REAL issue is this:

This means that all those girls with tramp stamp zodiac sign tattoos have the WRONG TATTOO ON THEIR ASS!

They might as well have gotten an Ex-boyfriends name tattooed there.

Thankfully I never tattooed anything on me, so my switch from an Aquarius to a Capricorn is no big thing to me.

Did you change? Here's an updated list:

Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11
Pisces: March 11-April 18
Aries: April 18-May 13
Taurus: May 13-June 21
Gemini: June 21-July 20
Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23-29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29-Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20

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An open letter to Birthdays

Dear Birthdays,
I am officially over you. While I enjoy my own, I am clearly a complete failure at planning others.

Let's see, in the past three years for Kendle's birthday we have:

1) Let Kendle plan her own party and it was fun (2009)
2) Made Kendle pay for her own birthday dinner (2010)
3) Baked a disaster cake, got dinner plans thwarted, and then got so stressed out driving that I was in a foul mood. Then, the present I picked out didn't work out. (2011)

So, yes, birthdays...I'm done planning you. You never work out. Let's get the gory details out.

So I bake a cake:


So far so good, right? But now I have to "turn it out" and that is WAY easier for me to do with ladies than it is for me to do with a cake:



And this was AFTER watching a video on YouTube on how to do it. Fucking Fail Cake. But I'm not pissed off yet. I still have frosting. I can probably just cover it up with frosting, right?

No. I could not. And not only did it not cover it up, but the damn frosting ripped the cake up even more. So now im pissed off, so I just smack a bunch of sprinkles on it and call it a day.



So onto the rest of this failure of a birthday. I've found a Chinese place that's pretty close by and will not require me to do any crazy driving. Why? Cause this city is fucking nuts, and it's hard enough to learn how to get places in the DAY with say...80 degree weather and dry roads, but no, I have to figure it all out when its pitch black and snowy (I don't get the car during the day). Suffice it to say, driving now stresses me out to no end. So Kendle comes home and starts telling me all about how her co-workers took her out for lunch...TO A CHINESE PLACE!

So now I'm pissed at the cake, and pissed that my plans are being shred to shit, AND I have to drive out to the burbs to some place called the Cheesecake Factory.

So now I'm pissy and stressed out, and of course I'm not dumb...the whole time I realize that this is her Birthday and my mood is probably ruining it, so now I'm pissed at the cake, the changed plans, stressed by the driving AND pissed at myself for being a dick.

But we are not done with this disaster...oh no. I mean, between the move and all the driving and only having one car, I have had no time to shop or get a present or anything. So I have the great idea to get Wicked Tickets. But I don't know when she will want to go, so I check prices online, and see they are 45-60ish a seat. That's not bad, so I just make some fake tickets up and plan that we will go online and get them together.

So after this disaster, I'm finally back home and all calmed down and shes eating her shitty cake, she goes online. Well...there are no 45-60 dollar tickets...there are only 106 dollar tickets.

120 dollars is ok with me, but 212 is a little steap, especially since we are saving for a wedding AND moving AND buying new furniture. To quote my mom we are "hemorrhaging cash right now." So, there was no present, a stressed out meal, and a worthless fail cake.

Yes birthdays, I'm done planning you.

Hunka

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T minus 30 minutes to Birthday Cake

It's Kendles birthday today, so I made a birthday cake here in our temporary condo thing. They provided Everything(TM) that one could need while living here.

Except things that measure ingredients. Unfortunatly, baking is a science. You have to like...fluff your flour before you measure it so that you get the right amount. Guessing really is not good for baking.

1 and 1/3 cup of water? Ok, no problem. I have a coffee maker here, it has a line for 2 cups. I think I can eyeball 1.33 cups.

1/2 a cup of oil? Well there is a tablespoon thing here. How many tablespoons are in a 1/2 a cup google?

Turns out it's 8.

So it's baking now. I'll have some pictures for you tomorrow of this crowing achievement or massive failure.

Stay Tuned.

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No Homo

Ahhhh, the internet. I'm sure this has been hanging around for along time, but it's my newest favorite internet thing.[sarcasm]

I was watching some video on youtube. Some guy had uploaded a million songs of him playing the piano. He mostly did covers of popular movie songs. I was on like the 5th or 6th and didn't really need to WATCH this guy play, so I scrolled down and started to read the comments.

The one that caught my attention was one guy was really telling the piano guy how much he appreciated his work, and how it had inspired him to start playing again, and then he ended it like this.

"You play really great man, no homo"

Huh?

Since when does one man giving another a compliment make him a homosexual? And if giving another guy a compliment MAKES one a "homo", this world would be a lot better off if it was FILLED with homosexuals.

Hell, if inspiring a person to pick back up an instrument, or learn a new skill, or something along those lines, is considered gay....then SIGN ME UP! I think it would be awesome if I inspired someone to be something better.

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