hunka.net

Video Game Music and a history lesson

2012-01-25T09:55:00.000-06:00

Back in the day, when we would play Video games, my mom's biggest complaint (well, second biggest complaint) was the noise it made. Bleeps and bloops that were music to us was just sound to her. A digitized death cry was murder...to her ears.

So Mom, I give to you...SKYRIM'S MAIN THEME performed on a violin:

So beyond the fact that this song is amazing, and it was composed for a video game, how about this guy? He plays every part of the song himself!

Anyways, it's an elegant symphony, the production value certainly has gone through the roof on video games. I wonder if Mom would like current day video games more?

Oh and for the record, the music in those old games wasn't THAT bad. Here's a sample of some "music" we used to have playing:

For those interested in why it says in memory of Michael Jackson on this one, let me drop some video game history on you.

Jackson actually composed alot of the music in Sonic 3 for the Sega Genesis, but the game was released on February 2nd, 1994 (Sega actually dubbed it Hedgehog Day, to help drum up excitement). This was of course just months after he was accused of child molestation, so the Marketing wizards at Sega didn't credit him, but still used his work. Fear not, he was paid, just uncredited.

Anyways, if THAT whole thing is interesting, there's a site with alot of good info, and even some audio samples where they overlay MJ songs over Sonic 3 Tracks, so you can hear the similarities between them.

http://info.sonicretro.org/Michael_Jackson_Involvement_with_Sonic_3

Ok, we have successfully gone WAY off track here. I'm just gonna end it there.

Drawing update

2012-01-24T08:56:00.001-06:00

Let's play catchup. This is probably a better way to do this, rather than just post every day a new image, do a wrap up kinda thing when I have a few lessons under my belt.

Here we have Lesson 2, 3, and 4 where I learned about shading and shadow. I guess I'm starting to have fun with it, as you can see, I used some color in Lesson 3, and added some "comic effects" to the last two drawings in Lesson 4. The book calls them "extras."

Mobile Template

2012-01-23T11:15:00.000-06:00

I've implemented a mobile template for hunka.net. If you view this website on a regular basis from a mobile device, this may be handy for you, you may hate it. I won't change it unless I hear grumbles.

If you don't view this on a mobile device, then this post is worthless to you, but if you want to see what all the fuss is about...

http://blog.hunka.net/?m=1

So there are two different templates that I'm toying with. I don't have the power to edit these templates, all I can do is select from a list that blogger gives me.

I like the one on the left because it feels more mobile friendly, but I don't like the fact that it looks nothing like my site, and the header takes up 1/2 of my screen. I want to show more content!

I like the one on the right because its a pretty good approximation of my site, but because they wont let me customize it, it has this huge white space on the right, so people load the site...then have to zoom in to read the text. That's not very user friendly.

So I'm defaulting to the left one for now. Hopefully in the future they will give me access to edit the template. Let me know which one you like better and why in the comments, so I can make the best decision.

Oh, I also updated the background image. I got this new fancy 27" screen and since its so big I can finally see that on a larger screen, my site looks like crap! Oh, and I MADE that background. I didn't find it on some website. I opened up Pixelmator, played around a bit, and came up with this. So, while it's pretty plain and you probably didn't notice it at all, I'm very proud of it.

So, new background, the snow is gone cause Christmas is over, and a mobile template. Lotsa changes around here.

I figured out why things have gotten so easy

2012-01-20T11:00:00.000-06:00

**Warning: Wall of text approaching. Divert to this image for something more mindless and colorful**

So in the past, let's just say I've perused a few questionable women in my day. Recently I've been dealing with a friend of mine's recent relationship problems, and it's made me reflect on my own current relationship, and why this one has worked out WAY better than others.

It all comes down to communication. In the past I've done my best to GUESS what the other person was thinking. It was never a question of "is she happy," cause how could she not be? She was hanging with a pretty cool dude, who always managed to be a big deal, wether it was knowing a ton of people to party with, or walking into a bar and having the entire staff know who you are and treat you like a big deal.

It was never an issue of "am I happy" either. I'm a pretty easy going guy, and I tend to be able to look past major flaws, like chain smoking, having no self-respect (to the point of needing to be disrespected), or not having any cash (they say the number one thing people fight about is money).

No, it was more of a "what should I be doing" kind of thing. That could be anything from trying to figure out how I should react around parents or friends, to what kind of dinner/movie would she like to go to. If you leave me alone, I'm gonna end up doing my own thing. That's the short and long of it. I'll go play video games for 4 hours one night, or talk to total strangers and tell them wicked funny stories that YOU may think are inappropriate, if you let me.

So I'm always looking for clues as to how to act. And in the past...these other people were very poor communicators, or maybe they just didn't care enough about "us" to bring up the problem.

Here, I'll give you an example.

So like I said, I was dealing with my friends relationship troubles the other day, and she said "He left the dishes out for two days and I ended up cleaning them, what should I do? I don't want to be bitchy and tell him to clean stuff up at his own apartment, but I dont like it."

I told her she had to get over that feeling and fast. My FIRST reaction was "well why don't you just tell him what's bugging you, and he will fix it." Her answer?

"Well can I just text him and tell him that?"

That's when it hit me, and I started to think about it. Communication is just so so so important to making any relationship work, be it just geting to know someone, long term dating, or even marriage. No you can't just text him. That's so passive agressive.

Do you want to be texting him for the rest of your life? "I think we shud git married @ my church, insted of urs" or "Hey hun, wut do U think bout trying 4 a baby?" These are not things you want to be doing later in life. You need to be able to talk to him, and if you can't then move on.

I can GUARANTEE this guy has no idea it's a problem, and would be happy to modify his behavior to make her more comfortable/keep her around. But because she can't say "I'd like it if the dishes were a higher priority," This becomes one thing that goes on the list of "why I should break up with him." Once that list is long enough, she will pull the trigger and end it.

So I looked at my current situation, and see...I don't have to worry about what I say to Kendle. She's not gonna cry or retreat inside herself and start to secretly hate me, and build a list of reasons to leave.

Oh no, she will just out loud hate me. Which is good. Very good. I know when I fuck up, and I know when I do the right thing, and I feel comfortable telling her things she does that I dont like, because I know its a back and forth kind of thing. It's not like she's ALWAYS correcting me, or I'm ALWAYS telling her what do to. We both have our areas of strength (like she tells me how to dress like an adult, and I tell her how to manage her cash), and we both know this, so we will defer to each other when questions come up in those areas of strength.

And that's why things have gotten so easy in recent years. It's not because Kendle and I "just work" it's because we both cared enough to make the effort to make it work. We are not without our fights, it's the way we handle those fights that keeps us together, and probably stronger for it.

From the FUTURE!

2012-01-19T09:53:00.001-06:00

I've shared this screen shot with you so that you can see that I received an iMessage....FROM THE FUTURE!

See the clock up there at the top. That's my local time? 1:04pm...see what time the iMessage got delivered...ONE MINUTE IN THE FUTURE!

BUM BUM BUUUUUUMMMMMM!!!!

I promise the only editing I did was to anonymize the image.

I know the wizards over at Apple have come up with some pretty cool toys in their time, but time travel?!

Clearly they are rolling out some weird beta of iTimeTravel, and I got selected to be a part of it.

This will be a big year for Apple if they can ship it soon. I'm gonna go buy some APPL stock.

Internet Blackout Day

2012-01-18T09:15:00.000-06:00

So, I was going to participate in internet blackout day, to show my anti-support of SOPA and PIPA, two internet censorship bills being talked about and trying to get through congress and the senate currently. But then I figured that there's already this tidal wave of supporters, and me throwing my tiny pebble into already choppy waters is not going to make that much of a ripple.

You like that analogy? Took me my whole bus ride to come up with that.

Instead, I urge you to educate yourself about the issue, and why it effects you...yes you, who all you do is check Facebook and read your email. This is not some bill that takes down hackers and pirates, this bill effects everyone.

And because law students with British accents are WAY more credible than me...watch this video that sums things up pretty nicely.

Warning: Strong language, headphones on if you are at work!

Pretty smart guy, huh? Now check out what he looks like (he's the fancy one, in the top hat):

EVEN MORE credible now..isnt he! Here's a list of sites who are participating today:

http://sopastrike.com/

Most of them are not simply taking their sites down, but putting up very interesting calls to action, about how to contact people who are passing this bill, and to voice your opinion to help change their minds.

Oh, you want to get involved? Visit this site, and get direct lines to your senator, or their official address to write a letter, or tweet at them or however you would like to contact them.

https://www.google.com/landing/takeaction/

Thanks for your time.

Hunka out.

You gotta start somewhere...

2012-01-17T08:30:00.000-06:00

Whelp, I started to draw again. This time I got a book out of the library, It's supposed to teach you how to draw in 30 lessons, at about 30 mins a day. I've already spent well over an hour on the pretest and the first lesson.

Not only am I learning to draw (cuase I have NO idea what I'm doing), I'm also learning how to use this new fangled digital drawing pen. So I'm sure the first few will be a little rough.

Anyways, first there was a pre-test. Draw a house and a plane. So here's my house and plane.

Next was lesson one. Foreshortening. So the lesson had me draw a bunch of things using my new skill. About 1/2 way through they threw shading in. As always, you can click through to the bigger image.

I'm trying to decide if I'll post every lesson here. I dont know yet, but DAMN, look how much better my lesson 1 was than the pre-test!

Kendle's Chicago Birthday Atempt 2

2012-01-12T12:05:00.000-06:00

So if you read this blog regularly, you will know the best birthdays Kendle has had are when I butt out and let her do her own thing.

When I try to plan stuff shit goes horribly wrong.

So this year I told her very early on, that I'd take her any place she wanted to go, and pay for it (if I could remember my wallet) ...but that was the extent of it. She had to make the guest list, she had to pick the place out. The less involved I was, the better her Birthday would be.

She agreed.

But I got to feeling bad because birthdays are important, especially to me. I love a big deal made over me and my birthday, and I think I should do SOMETHING more for her. So against my better judgement, I butted into her birthday, and planned a few things.

Monday I gave her a present. You read all about that adventure on my Monday Blog post.

Tuesday I took her out to eat. But you know...I'm the king of fail birthdays, so we got pizza on a day she had pizza for lunch. So whoppie for that.

But guys. Guys last night I made her the most delicious double chocolate lava cake the world has ever seen.

And not just one, but six individual cakes all with a gooey chocolate center, topped with powdered sugar and rasberries.

Most of you already know, because Facebook was blowing up last night when she posted a picture, but I felt it was necessary to still share the behind the scenes.

Now Guys, this is where you pay attention to me. I'm about to drop some wicked knowledge on you that will make your relationship life easier.

When you step into your laides domain...and by domain I mean, if she's got a thing and you are doing it as a present to her or something...you make DAMN SURE to act like you have no clue what you are doing.

Your lady is into photography and you want to take some pictures for her? Ask her a ton of questions that make it seem like you are just the worst at it. She plays the guitar, and you are singing a song to her? You better ask her for help on the chord progression or how to hold the instrument or something.

In my case, I kept asking where things were, or how you do this, and how you do that. I got real upset when the recipe had changed and it appeared I didn't have the right ingredients. Kendle was sitting on the couch the whole time, watching TV and she said that this dessert was more trouble for her than it was for me. Perfect!

So the cakes came out awesome. Kendle is still queen of the kitchen, and the only way I managed such a treat was with her assistance...EVERYONE was a happy camper.

Now today is her Birthday. She's had three days of birthday surprises (cause remember, I'm not doing anything this year) and when her alarm went off this morning I yelled at the top of my lungs "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!" and rolled over on her and she groggily looks up at me...blinks twice and says "oh yeah, thats today, isn't it?"

Cracked me up.

Anyways, Im making good on my promise. We are going out to eat with some friends (so long as this storm doesn't keep them away), and I'll remember my wallet. Here's another picture of the cakes. I promise there were 6, I just ate one to make sure they were good.

Epic Burger

2012-01-11T10:41:00.000-06:00

So I've been exploring my options for lunch around my new job. Last friday I walked a mile to get to Wendy's. Seriously, thats some dedication right there. I think the closest Taco Bell is just as far, so I've had to resort to finding things a little closer.

I found a place called Epic Burger. I had visions of this swimming in my head:

I thought there would be a list of many different kinds of fancy burgers, with different toppings. A smorgasbord of different cheeses, bacons, grilled things to top with, and veggies.

Four kinds of mustard, two kinds of ketchup and surely they would have some sort of EPIC SAUCE to put on their burgers, right?

Color me disappointed. See it's called Epic Burger. Singular. And that's what they have. One burger, and you can choose from you standard sides (lettuce, tomato, pickle). Cheese? Well of course that's extra, and bacon too. Fries are 2 bucks!

So I order the combo, because that's what America and Marketing has taught me to always do. I get a burger, fries and a drink for like 9 dollars. Add in the cheese I wanted, and tax and we sit at just over 11 bucks for lunch.

Now I have to admit, the burger was tasty, and they have fountain Mt. Dew, with free refills. Colin would have loved the fries. I can hear him going on about the fresh cut-ness of them, how they were perfectly salted with just enough crunch. That boy really loves fries.

But then I started adding things up in my head and I basically saved a dollar. And I'm not a fry guy, and I have a very tiny belly, and the burger was enough to fill me up. So really I should have just ordered a burger and a water and called it a day. My 11 dollar meal would have dropped to like 6 dollars.

All in all, my expectations were not met. But still, it's a pretty decent burger if you are craving it, and a McDonalds burger just won't do.

I may have figured out women!

2012-01-09T17:03:00.001-06:00

Ok, no not 100% or anything, but I did have some errands to run over my lunch, and I think I may have figured out a little bit of the female psyche. Specifically...shopping.

Insert "Can't stop a WOMAN from shopping" in your best Chris Rock voice here.

So Kendle's birthday is coming up, and she has told me that she would like a new bathrobe from Victoria's Secret. I wen't to two separate stores (no small feat in this crazy city) to be turned away by both. I was not allowed to buy what I wanted.

This was shocking to me. See, when I buy things, typically it's just video games. They ALWAYS have video games. There are whole stores devoted to having OLD video games, so even when something is out of print, you can still find it. I've never been told that I can't have something while shopping. When I shop for clothes (you know...every 4 or 5 years), I just buy what they have in the store. If I don't see something I like...it's onto the next store. No big deal.

So that's where I was on shopping. It's NBD. But then on the long disappointing walk back to work, I started thinking, and came up with this theory.

We used to be hunter/gatherers. Specifically, women would go out and search for the best berries or pieces of firewood. They took their time, found the best stuff and brought it back so that society could move forward. It was a very important job.

Dudes? They were typically the hunters. They went out and trapped or fought and killed whatever they could. It was also an important job, but you can see where the ability to choose a specific prey was dictated by what ran the slowest.

So through natural selection and generations upon generations of people, the ones who survived were probably the ones who's gatherers found the best (ie not rotten, won't get you sick, etc) food. There was probably some sort of innate drive to find the best stuff.

So you see, now that we have supermarkets and big chain grocery stores, the need to search for the best food has become mindless. Add in marketing and brands and it gets even simpler. Go to the store, buy a can of your favorite brand of carrots. You barely have to look at what you are buying. So how do our gatherers fulfill that need? Shopping. Hunting for the best deals, the thrill of finding that prize piece, having that thing that no one else has.

And that's why women shop, and somehow retailers have keyed in to this very basic need and have "seasons" for things, or limit supply.

Also to further drive home my point. Guys are really good at pattern matching and viewing things in 3d. Which are awesome skills for picking out the shape of a panther in the jungle, but not so great for say, picking out a ripe apple, from one thats just past ripe and will make you sick. It's a much broader "get the overall feel" set of skills. Which is why guys don't always understand why a woman will scrutinize over 12 red sweaters. Guys see "Red" and "Sweater" and we are done. Girls see the stitching, the feel of the fabric, and the details on the neckline.

So that's my theory. Now the best part about all this is the next time your lady friend is taking forever to find something and she holds up three of the exact same pants and asks your opinion, you can bow out! "Sorry honey, I'm a guy, I dont see details. You are the gatherer, you know WAY better which one is best" and then point her to this blog. While she's reading you can excuse yourself to video game store or go play with all the fun stuff at Spencers.

Some funny things I saw

2012-01-03T12:50:00.000-06:00

So, I get out of the house now, right? I have a bout a 3 block walk to the bus, and then a bus ride to work. I have to imagine this will provide endless fun things to write about and so far I have not been disappointed.

Yesterday on my ride over, I sat down and after a few stops the bus was filling up and the lady across from me was sitting at a "two seater." So she looks up, and notices that the bus is filling up. So she scoots over to the middle of her "bench" so now shes taking up not one seat out of two...but both seats. She plops herself right down in the middle of it so that NO one will bother her for the next four stops before she gets off.

I almost lost it. Nutty CTA riders!

Then today there was a Chinese woman who was listening to her discman. Every 5 or so minutes, she'd shout out something in Chinese, as if she was singing along with her CD. But that's not so weird, so this story must get better, right?

You bet.

So it's finally time for her to get off the bus. She stands up and the bus lurches her off her feet, and she spills back into her chair. The lady behind her reaches out to help her. I'm not sure what she could have done to keep her on her feet...maybe she was just trying to protect her kid from being landed on.

So then the poor woman, who at this point, I've decided is not all there in the head, stumbles to the front of the bus, and shouts SOMETHING close to "GET OFF NOW" at the driver.

Man it must suck to be a CTA driver. Most people are super nice, and say thanks when the driver stops for them, or when they get off. Not this lady. She didn't pull the cord or hit a button to request a stop. She just screamed at the poor guy.

And finally, I got to work early on my first day of work, and I don't have a key yet, or the security code, so I just bummed around all over North and Clybourn to get a feel for the location. On my way back to the office, I was walking up Clybourn when this guy approaches from the other direction. He coughs a little...and then stops. Bends over, puts his hands on his knees, and proceeds to hack up a lung. Like he's heaving and wretching and pulling all this mucus out of his chest into his mouth...and he let's it fly. Right onto the sidewalk in front of me.

I'd never seen anything like it. Oh sure I've seen someone spit on the sidewalk, I'm not some prude. But THIS was a production. A production which landed really close to my shoes.

I figured out why Chicago loves snow

2012-01-02T16:43:00.001-06:00

So it's my first day of work right? First time having to be out the door at a certain time in over a year. So I'm running all over the place, trying to eat breakfast, take a shower, catch up on news and figure out when the bus leaves. I don't really have time to look out the windows during all this, so imagine my surprise to get downstairs and step out into a white, winter wonderland.

It was 8am. It was what I would have expected to be rush hour in Chicago....but it was silent! That's when I realized why I was always reading these excited posts from my friends up north when it snowed.

Because you can FINALLY get a break from the loud noises of city living...because the snow muffles everything.

See, you would think...damn, living in a city sucks, and then you add snow into the mix, and its just gotta suck more! Right? WRONG. EVERYONE drives a little bit more sanely, everyone drives a little bit slower, and everyone WAITS. That's what I think is the biggest thing for new Chicago drivers. It's ok to do something stupid...but just DO it. Don't timidly do it, or do it half way and try and reverse it. JUST DO IT AND FINISH IT.

Like..."Fuck yeah, that's me. I'm driving the wrong way down a one way street. I know it's wrong, but at least I'm moving out of your way."

But I digress, the point is, snow does two things to make living here a little bit easier, which is why you will read a million blogs today from your Chicago friends about how awesome the new snow is.

For the record, most of it is gone now, but at 8am, it was on like Donkey Kong!

Tune in tomorrow to hear the horror stories from my CTA bus ride and early morning North and Clybourn walk.

2011, year in review

2011-12-28T10:58:00.000-06:00

I know it's not the new year yet, but it's a good time to do this. Not only will it explain a little of why I've been so quiet, but It's a good way to wrap up the year, as I assume this will be my last post until 2012.

So let's see, in 2011 I...

Moved 3 times
Weathered a blizzard
Got married
Braved the CTA on a regular basis
Got a new job

Wait...what was that last one? Got a new job?!

Yep, that's why I've been so quiet lately. Well that and the holidays. I'm too busy over the holidays to say much, what with interviews, and second interviews, and orientation. But yeah, I took a new position for The Goltz Group. I'll be doing alot of what I do now, just for a different company. There also appears to be a little light IT work required. So how perfect is THAT? I used to fix computers and then I made websites...now I have a job where I do both.

So that's 2011 in a nutshell.

TV is here

2011-12-27T14:56:00.002-06:00

So I didn't write about this at all. I don't know why I wouldn't but here we go.

Kendle won a TV. A 55" LCD Sony TV. It finally got delivered today, and I was all like this:

So the way it worked was there were about 15 prizes or prize packages at Kendles Christmas Party. They gave each employee 5 tickets with their names on them, and you could put them in to different raffels and win the prize. So you could spread it out, and put one in five different prizes, or blow it all on one prize, and put all five in one bucket.

Kendle opted to put four of her's in the TV prize and one in the cash prize. I try to not to get too excited about these kinds of things. I never win them (still haven't). So when they called her name, I think I was in a state of shock. Kendle thought I just wasn't that excited, but let me tell you...I dont know how I gamed before we had this TV. The guys on screen are as big as me!

Here's some reference. Inside the box there was not that much packaging, so the box is BASICALLY the size of the tv. Here's our old TV infront of the new TV box for comparison.

That's quite a step up from our last one!

So, while I was home, Dad gave me some steaks, I got Gladiator on Blu-ray for Christmas, and now a 55" HDTV. Who wants to have a guy night?

Stupid Dog Videos

2011-12-14T14:49:00.000-06:00

Kendle's always like "you watch to many damn funny cat videos on youtube"

So here's a funny dog video!

Hunger Games

2011-12-12T16:00:00.002-06:00

So I may be way behind the curve on this one, but I started reading The Hunger Games Trilogy. I started reading them on the Kindle Fire you all bought me for a wedding present. Well, not me. It actually says "Kendle's Kindle" on the top left corner. A constant reminder of how I don't have any cool toys anymore, she gets all those.

So I couldn't get the books from the library, so I just downloaded all three of them to the Kindle. It's not as huge of a monetary risk as you might think *wink wink*. It worked out ok, I couldn't put down the first one, and I slogged through the second one pretty fast, but now at the third one...I've slowed to a crawl.

Oh I'll finish it, don't worry. I dont usually get two thirds through something and quit.

Unless it's Dead Space 2, or Final Fantasy 13.

If you haven't read the books. You should probably stop reading. The rest of this post is a HUGE spoiler. Along with all that, I'm going to just assume you have read it from here on out, so if you haven't you will probably just be lost.

Suzanne Collins had a REAL opportunity with the reveal of District 13. She had spent all of book one telling us it was dead, yet alluding to the fact that there was indeed life outside of the districts.

Then she spent a portion of book two reminding us that the capitol was capable of lying, and that District 13 may be more than just a pile of rubble.

Then, at the end of Book 2, they throw Katniss back into the games, and I'm like...MIND BLOWN! Holy shit, of course they would put her back in the games, that came out of nowhere and I was really excited to see how it was all going to play out. I mean, how could she win the games now? Surely they wouldn't let her off the hook with another dual winner games, right?

So I was all distracted from District 13, and marveling at Suzanne and her craft. She had me.

Of course Book 2 ends on a cliff hanger. Imagine my elation, the action, the suspense. It was SO GOOD.

Then Book 3 starts up and its pretty ho hum about this whole underground city that is District 13. It felt like a real afterthought, and there was not enough wonder and amazement put into her revealing that people still lived in District 13. There was even less wonder and amazement at the fact that the resistance was brewing there.

I mean here we have a whole District of people who were thought to have been wiped of the face of the plant for the last 75 years, and not only are they actually THERE, but they are advanced. More advanced than any other district, and they are fighting back.

That would be like if tomorrow I came up to you, and had a whole 10 minute conversation with you about last Sundays Bears game, and then in the last three minutes I was like "oh, and did you hear, there's this colony of humans living on the moon...Yep, they've been there for 75 years, and they have ALL THIS COOL TECHNOLOGY. No big deal though, it's barely worth mentioning, but they are also trying to overthrow the two party government system we currently enjoy."

See it's not even about the fact that it was a poor decision on what to write. The whole thing sticks out like a sore thumb because that's not how we would expect these people to react.

ARGH! I was pulling my hair out. Really, it could have been this whole cool "escape from District 12" story line. With a few days journey thought the wilderness, and finally exploring the ruins of District 13, only to discover PEOPLE LIVED THERE!

Think of THAT?! Way better, I know. The series would have probably pushed out to a quadrilogy, but so what? Twilight did that, and no fans seem to be complaining there.

Anyways, long story short...It's well worth the read. It slows down the further you read, and has some disappointing parts that could have just been written in a different way, but it's a fun ride. Can't wait for the movie.

Here's the trailer, for those of you who made it this far through all my ramblings.

Housewives of Logan Square

2011-12-09T07:57:00.001-06:00

So there are two factors that contributed to the picture you see on the left there.

1) Kendle told me that I had to dress up in a suit to go to this christmas party. Then she was all "Do you have a shirt? I don't think you have a shirt" So to prove to her that I have a shirt, and indeed a whole outfit, I decided I had better get everything together and laid out for Saturday.

2) I washed the dishes, did three loads of laundry, emptied the dishwasher, and loaded it again, took out the trash, cleaned the bathroom, changed the sheets on the bed, put away three loads of laundry, disinfected the counters in the kitchen, and cleaned up the living room.

So, there I was, feeling all domestic when I spied the suit I had laid out. So I get to thinking, as long as we are swapping gender roles, I might as well go and blow this thing out of the water. What is the classic drink a wife should have waiting for her husband when he gest home from working in advertising all day? Martini!

I headed down to the liquor store and bought a bunch of things for making martini's, and whipped up a batch of Kendles favorite, the Dirty Lemonade, from Boltini.

So when Kendle comes home, she honks to make sure everyone in the ally knows she's there, so I KNOW when she will be walking through the door. So there I was coding away for Wolfram in a suit and tie (all that housework AND I worked late) when I hear the honk!

I rushed to the kitchen and started cutting up lemons, I poured out enough for 2 drinks in to the shaker and AS Kendle's key was turning in the lock, I was shaking up her martini.

Needless to say she didn't know how to take it. Usually I'm glued to the compter screen when she comes in, cause it's never a good place to stop working when she walks in the door.

So I pour the drinks, and I show off my suit and she's all "oh, I guess you do have a shirt"

BAM! Score one for Hunka!

But then again, I dont want to get this dirty! I have to wear it Saturday! So I go change out of the fancy cloths, but I do put on some nice jeans, and a different jacket. See...I saw this on TV once. Sports jacket class up top, casual jeans on the bottom. I like that look, but a) sports jackets are kinda expensive and b) I didn't think I could pull off the look.

Well let me tell you guys. Pulled. It. Off. Big time. So we went out to dinner cause I was looking super classy.

And THAT'S why I got dressed up in a suit and tie and made marinis last night.

Kids don't notice these things...

2011-12-06T10:30:00.001-06:00

So this is our Christmas tree this year. I refused to cary a real one up to the second floor of our building. It also seems kinda pointless if you aren't cutting it down yourself, or at least going out to a tree farm and buying a tree.

Heading out to the parking lot of XYZ store and buying a tree does not get me in the Christmas spirit. So we have this little fake tree that Kendle did up real nice. See?

So I'm looking over the tree and all the ornaments. Some of them are my old ones, and some of them are ones from her family. Like...the pickle. Apparently you hide the pickle on the tree and whoever finds it has good luck? Must be some crazy german thing....us polish people just hide money on the tree. The one who finds it is rich.

Anyways so I look a little closer and find this one:

Yep, thats for mixing up drinks. And my thought process is "this thing will be on our tree forever, and our kids will fight over who gets to put up the shiny bottle, and they wont get WHAT it actually is until they are old enough to get into a bar...and then they will think back and say 'Mom's an alcoholic'"

Oh and since it's Christmas...snow at hunka.net! Enjoy!

Bucket List minus 1

2011-12-05T14:00:00.001-06:00

So remember back in September when I wrote up my Chicago bucket list?

Last night I did Number 8.

Kendle and I went to Cravin' Chicago Wings at 7:00 at night. I was running on 4 and a half hours of sleep, but I had things to cross of my list, so I powered through it.

It helped that I ate the hottest wings ever, topped with raw hot peppers, and downed about 1/2 a liter of Coke by myself.

Anyways...yes, we went to a place, watched the North American Star League Season 2 finals on a projector in a room with about 60 other people all cheering on the players.

They also gave out thunderstix. Which is what they use to make lots of noise and cheer on player AT the actual event. These were official NASL thunderstix...not some cheap knock off. They had one for each race in the game, but Kendle insisted that we get the purple ones. So purple ones we got.

So you bang them together, and it's like a drum. And if enough people do it, it sounds like thunder. The kid across from us (who was studying for a spanish final) was REALLY into it. Every time the crowd started banging their stix together, he was like...SMASHING his together, and he got this like...wild look in his eyes. It was a little unnerving.

We also met some pretty chill people, and some turbo nerds, and some people who just wanted a late night snack and had no idea what they had walked in on. It was nice to be able to talk about Husky, Day[9], and Hero, and have people understand what I as talking about. I was actually able to say things like "Oh man, that split was SICK" rather than "See, he split all his marines up so the splash damage from the incoming banelings didn't hit all his units."

...and then I have to explain banelings and splash damage.

All in all it was pretty fun, and I hope next time I've had a little more sleep so I can stay till the end.

oh and PS....
Best wife ever? Yup.

So the IRS is banging down my door...

2011-12-02T09:38:00.001-06:00

Colin comes over a few days ago and says "So I want to show you this weird thing on your front door"

So we go downstairs and there is a note taped to the door. That's kinda weird.

"But, it get's weirder" he says

It's from the IRS. They do that? They walk around and leave notes on your door? If one was in trouble with the IRS, and avoiding them...would a NOTE on the door really be the thing that makes you like...fess up to whatever you did?

So whatever...its a note, and the guys name on the note is not mine so I just leave it there.

Two days later, the note has now moved INSIDE, and it's taped to my mailbox. It's addressed to MY apartment number, so I open it up, and it's a business card and a note asking to be called. I double check the name on the outside, and its STILL not mine, but I called them anyways.

Got voice mail. Left them a message about how I'm not this guy, and how he's probably a previous tenant (the drug addict who burned the apartment down because he fell asleep with a joint on his couch, possibly?), and that they can contact my landlords for any information about that guy...but I'm not him...so stop putting IRS notes on my mailbox, making the whole building thing im dodging taxes or something.

11:11:11 on 11-11-11

2011-11-29T11:44:00.001-06:00

So my friend, who wishes to remain anonymous bought a watch. Let's call him "Hootch." He bought this watch specifically because it has the time AND date displayed on it.

He made a video of the watch rolling over 11:11:11 on 11-11-11 and asked if I could upload it to YouTube. He said if it goes viral, I have to profit share with him.

2 problems....

1) Copyrighted music means I can use it as fair use, or in a mashup...but I can only do so if I dont profit from it.

2) He gave it to me last weekend, so the rage of 11/11/11 is well past.

Oh well, here's the video!

Oh and he already retured the watch. He literally bought it to make the video. Hootch is crazy!

I hate Zooey Deschanel

2011-11-22T08:56:00.001-06:00

I hate how everyones going nuts over her, I hate how she can't decide if she's an actress or a singer, and I hate how everyone thinks she looks like Katy Perry.

I mean, she does. But Katy Perry isn't hot either, so why are we going so nuts over her too?!

You know what I do like? The word "Adorkable" which Kristen busted out on Sunday night and it PERFECTLY encapsulates WHAT Zooey is and WHY people are in love with her.

She's quirky, and different and approachable by nerds everywhere. She never plays a super hot, has it all together character. She always plays...the adorkable one.

And that's probably what pisses me off the most about her. She plays these characters which people see as accessible. But the secret is, she's no more accessible than any other star. Meet her on the street? She's not quirky and fun loving and ready to go on some zany adventure with you. Nope.

So let's stop fawning all over her like she's our best friend, take off our Zooey colored glasses and see her for what she really is. An uninteresting, Katy doppelganger, whose tricked us all into thinking we could be friends.

But she did give us the word Adorkable, which I think needs to be worked into everyday conversation.

Kendle Approved Wedding Video

2011-11-21T08:20:00.001-06:00

So, we are what, one day short of a full month from the time this video was shot, and here I finally have a Kendle Approved Edit, or as it shall henceforth be known..."Wedding Video (KAE Edition)".

Music edits, cutting out all shots of parents and personal parts, and cutting down my intro talk from about 1 min to under 10 seconds. I think I started out with about 30 minutes of footage. The video I sent out to my grandma was 17 and a half minutes, and this one is just three and a half. But good news, it's HD. The shorter length made it easier to upload a higher resolution version.

Oh, and people who already saw the original version, I suggest you watch the last 30 seconds or so. I wish I had made that ending edit in the original edit...it feels, right.

Things that are no longer cool

2011-11-17T08:29:00.001-06:00

So the other day, I went out with with a bunch of Kendle's work friends. Now back in the day, you would have gotten a blog post about how I went out with four smoking hotties...**wink wink** etc.

But now that I'm married, it's no longer cool to say "I went out with four girls last night." Going out with four girls went from being a super player to being dragged along on girls night out.

So here's a list of other things that USED to be cool but now are not.

"I was up at 2am!"

...'Cause I was asleep by 9...

"Partied so hard, I crashed on (insert friends name here)'s couch last night!"

...'Cause now I am in the dog house for partying so hard...

"I got a hot date tonight!"

...well this one is still cool, but it lacks the mystery it had before. You know who the hot date is.

"All these girls are blowing up my phone!"

...to ask me if I'm happy with my current phone service...

"I'm going on a trip to (insert city with awesome nightlife here)!"

...for work

Oh well, I'm sure there's a list of thing I can say now that are super lame but makes me the envy of every single guy out there.

New Pics

2011-11-07T15:24:00.001-06:00

Real quick here....

There are pictures up from the wedding. These are not the official ones, these are just of random cameras (and from the number of pictures of Julie/Jeff/Sheila/Matt, you can guess who's cameras).

I put 'em up here, as always:
Picasa

I HAD a video of the ceremony, but you know, being a good husband and all I checked with Kendle if it was ok to put up. 40 mins and 10 edits later, it was clear this thing wasn't going up. So I'm just going to work on the edit for my Grandma.

Maybe someday I'll have something I can share online with everyone.

For now the pictures will have to do.

The Honeymoon

2011-10-31T08:54:00.003-05:00

You were all at the wedding. I'm not gonna recap that other than to say it went perfectly, without a hitch. Mostly thanks to all the people in the wedding party and the parents. You guys really helped out alot.

Big thanks to Chris VonSeele for keeping the photographer on schedule, and providing booze. Colin Taylor, for keeping so cool and focused, which kept me cool and on task, and Chris Gorski for a fantastic impromptu speech.

But enough about that. You were all there, you all know whats up. You wanna hear about the honeymoon.

(Those aren't my feet) That pretty much sums it up. That's also the only picture from the honeymoon you can see.

The others are X-rated.

So let's see, they had a pool, and a hot tub, and a private beach, two restaurants open for dinner only, and a buffet open all day.

The drinks were free....have you ever had a Bahama Mamma? They are delicious. I wish I was a chick, cause I would order those things all day long, but bartenders give funny looks to dudes who order them.

They had Bingo every day at 4:30 at the pool. The prize was a bottle of rum. Kinda silly cause you could just go drink a whole bottle if you wanted, but I digress, we never won bingo, and I cringed every time they called out a number cause there was just no flair!

We did win a Horror Movie Soundtrack Trivia game. Although I'm still having issues accepting that RoboCop is a horror movie, but the others I was all over. We scared the elderly african american couple next to us because we knew all the really gory ones right off the bat (Saw, Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, etc) but had a harder time coming up with others.

I don't think I've ever slept so much in my life. I would wake up, eat breakfast, get a drink (yep), and head to the beach. I'd be back asleep within 45 minutes. Wake up for lunch...more drinks...more sleep. It was GRAND.

Oh and Archery. I shot a ton of arrows, which was fun cause I got to live out my child hood fantasy of being Robin Hood.

Both of them.

Surprisingly....ripping the feathers off of one side of 2 arrows and firing them at the same time was NOT allowed.

Bachelor Party

2011-10-18T09:34:00.001-05:00

Last weekend was my Bachelor Party. In planning this, Colin and I had a few discussions. My first, and I assume every guys, reaction was "Let's get dressed up...eat something fancy, and then go drinking!"

In fact I even said that to Colin, but after about two hours of thinking about it I emailed him back and said "ok, no. I think the most I want to get dressed up is jeans and a polo...if that."

So that's what we did. We went to 1/2 way fancy dinner, drinks at Boltini, and then off to the Bullett.

Unlike girls on their "last night out" parties, guys don't really want a record of WHAT happened, so there are no pictures of what went on. So I had to steal that picture of not us thats up there, and then I stole this off twitter:

That's about all the pictorial evidence around. But all in all it was a good party. Someone got pulled over by the cops, there was puke at one point in the night, and there were boobs.

Glorious, flat, makes-you-appreciate-what-you-have-at-home boobs.

It happened awhile ago...

2011-10-17T13:44:00.000-05:00

So the other day I was in Champaign, and Kendle and my Dad and I were all sitting around. I don't remember how this even came up, but for some reason we were discussing working out and how I don't do it anymore. Kendle was saying she couldn't understand why I just do go running anymore, cause I used to do it all the time.

And then my dad said this:
"Oh, at his age, he doesn't need to go running. Just take a walk everyday should be fine"

...at my age?

AT MY AGE?!

How old does he think I am?!

Plus I don't think you are allowed to slow down till your kids are at least 12 or 13 years old. If you have kids at say....40...that's your own damn fault. You gotta go go go till you are 53 then. No bitching about joints this or tired that.

Oh and I'm sure this story would have a better ending if I was like "so then I started running again" but that of course is not the case. There's to many people here. Running down the street would be like playing Frogger.

The Backwater Gospel

2011-10-12T09:01:00.001-05:00

Gonna do that thing I do where I share cool animations today. Enjoy!

Probably some of the best storytelling I've seen in awhile. Very intense. It's about 9 minutes, but worth it.

Dragon Illusion

2011-10-11T09:19:00.000-05:00

So I made this dragon illusion today. It's supposed to follow you around as you look at it from different angles. It KINDA works.

There's a better video that shows the illusion breaking here:

http://www.moillusions.com/2006/03/dragon-illusion.html

The good news is you can print out and make your own on that site too!

Hunka's Day Out

2011-10-10T09:12:00.000-05:00

I took Friday off. I had to make a ton of phone calls and work on some of the wedding things still left to do before we went to CU for the busiest weekend ever^TM.

So once I got all that done, I checked in at work, and with no pressing issues, I decided to go downtown and check out the Occupy Wall Street protest. Of course it's not the REAL one, but there are over 1000 of these "solidarity protests" all over the states right now.

So I took the blue line down there, got off at the Jackson stop and walked over to the banks.

There was a guy with a mega phone wandering in and out of traffic, signs, and lots more people than that shows. The thing I thought was really clever is you know those guys who beat on plastic buckets really fast and you are supposed to drop money in their tip jars? Well they were there, but they weren't doing their usual thing, they were doing military march type beats, like you would hear in the revolutionary war.

So then it was off to the Apple store, which required me to go over to the Art Museum, catch the bus, and head over the river to Ohio and Michigan. Cause I'm not REALLY sure where the Apple store is, and the Bus driver yelled something and lots of people got off, so I figure this was his last stop in this area for a while. Turns out its a little further up.

It was pretty somber over there, they had a ton of post it notes and pictures, and flowers and apples all thanking Steve Jobs for all he had done. It felt a little wrong taking pictures of this stuff, but everyone else was...so who am I to buck trends?

Of course I went in to see if I need to buy a new desktop. I'm REALLY leaning towards building my own Windows Box for my next desktop. Don't tell Steve.

So then it was off to California Pizza Kitchen. My favorite place to eat when out on an adventure in a big city. I just like sitting at the bar and chatting with the servers. Way more fun that sitting at a booth.

Then it was on to the red line, transfer to the blue line, and home. A quick check in at work, still nothing that needed my attention, and then it was off to beat Ratchet and Clank.

It was a good day.

There are more, higher resolution pictures up on Picasa.

Why did I keep checking in on work on my day off? Cause I'm important over there, and even on my days off, I need to keep things moving if possible.

News

2011-10-06T09:37:00.000-05:00

It's Colin's birthday, and Steve Jobs died.

That's pretty much the news for today.

I find it odd that I feel a sense of loss over a guy I never met. I mean sure his company makes products that affect my everyday life, but I'm pretty sure if Mark Zuckerburg dropped of the face of the planet tomorrow, I could care less.

Perhaps it's because MZ stays out of the lime light, and we just assume that without him, Facebook will continue to chug along, while Steve stepped out on stage to tell us all about new things every year.

He always made it feel like his ideas, his innovations, his technology.

But there is a team behind it all, and even Apple will continue to churn out new products and new ideas. And the copiers will still continue to copy.

But hey...ribs tonight! It's a good day.

1 lb. Heart attack

2011-10-05T13:08:00.000-05:00

So typically I make this treat I call three lb. heart attack. It's a pound of Velveeta "cheese", a pound of macaroni (pre cooked weight) and a pound of ground beef. It's basically homemade hamburger helper. Not that big a deal.

So the other day I truck off to the store because I have the "cheese"....I have the macaroni...all I need is the beef. There's this lovely little mexican grocery store with in spitting distance of me so I head over there to get the beef.

Now when I get there, it's early in the day, and the beef is in this fridge, laid out. And you just ask the guy for however much you want. So the meat level..its pretty low. My first thought is that this meat is not very fresh, perhaps has been here overnight or longer. But its RED. So it's gotta be ok. Old meat is brown, this meat is not.

So I get the meat. I go home and make 3 lbs of this stuff, and jump in to my first bowl, expecting to eat 2 bowls and save the rest for lunches over the next week.

It's a little sour tasting. I mean..i ate the whole bowl, but it was so bad I didnt want anymore, which is new for this dish.

So fast forward to that night when Im telling Kendle all about this, and she says "Oh, they PROBABLY dye their meat."

DYE THE MEAT? HOW IS THAT LEAGEL? There's also no sell by date on the meat...till you buy it. I went back and looked at the sticker they put on it AFTER you buy it and it says "sell by today, bitch!"

So...lunch was ruined, and I learned a valuable lesson about buying meat from the mexican grocery store. My new rule "if its ground....put it down."

But that's three lb. heart attack. What's all this noise about a 1 lb. heart attack?

I am not a fan of wasting food, and I wasted ALOT thanks to the spoiled meat. So I decided to make a smaller version. Here's what you do.

Buy two boxs of Velveeta shells and cheese, and 1 pound of meat. Make sure you buy it from a reputable grocery store. Why 2 boxes? Cause you can't buy 1/2 lb of meat at my store and one lb of meat and one box of shells is TOO MUCH.

So you make 1 box and 1/2 the meat and combine it...it's not that tricky. But you have to be willing to eat it two days in a row because that meat you didnt use...its now unsealed and you are gonna want to cook that up sooner than later.

Is it perfect? No. The real deal tastes better, but it's a pretty close approximation. Light eater? 1 box will serve two people!

Chicago Bucket List

2011-09-28T09:13:00.000-05:00

So...I live in Chicago. When that comes up in conversation with people back home, everyones all "That's so cool, I love to visit Chicago, there's so much to do" and "You should take advantage of The City while you are there" as if it's pretty much guaranteed that one cant live in the city forever.

So here's a list of things I would like to do to take advantage of this cultural melting pot we call Chicago before the inevitable.

See Matt and Kim in concert
Be an extra in a movie that films here
Eat at a place that cooks the food on the table in front of you

Experience the flip-the-shrimp-into-pocket first hand

Go to a Bo Burnham concert
Become published in either Loosey Goosey or The Logan Square Reader
See the fireworks on July 3rd (they do them early...right?) from a boat or beach
Drink a green beer WHILE seeing the dyed green river on St. Patties Day
Attend a "BarCraft"
Find an old theater...watch an old movie there
Stand in those clear boxes outside the Willis Tower (It pains me to say Willis Tower instead of Sears)
Find a group interested in Animation (not just Anime...but all forms of animation). Join it
Find a Tai Chi group....do tai chi at sunrise
Watch a pro sports team (Bulls, Blackhawks, Bears, Cubs, Sox) in the stadium, and not on TV
Drive on LSD in the morning.
See a famous comic do stand up

There...that's my City Bucket List.

Pop Cans

2011-09-27T14:45:00.000-05:00

You know what Logan Square needs more of? Fast food options. We have maybe four within walking distance, and a total of seven if you REALLY wanna truck your ass far. That's not to say we dont have food places, we just don't have FAST food chain places.

So we have tons of these little BBQ and pizza places. Specialty sandwitch shops, thai places...you get the picture. It's food heaven over here. But all these places for some reason or other...have decided NOT to serve fountain drinks. Instead, when you order a Coke or whatever, they give you a can.

I mean, I guess I'm ok with all this because the last thing I need is to suck down a huge bucket of soda....and then get another one on the way out cause...."hey, it's free." But it never made sense to me why Colin was always so excited about fountain soda at Taco Bell...well now I get it.

I just wish they would sell them at soda can prices (let's be generous and say 50 cents) vs selling a can of soda for a buck fity, cause thats what you would pay elsewhere.

IT'S NOT THE SAME THING!

My second pop related rant is these new Coke machines which have like 12 billion sodas in them, and you can mix and match them up to make whatever you want. Want a Faygo Orange Coke? You can have it. Did you want Raspberry Sprite? Go for it.

My problem with these things is that EVERYTHING that comes out of that spout kinda tastes like every option in the machine all mixed together. So like...I just want a regular Coke? Too bad. It's gonna taste a little funky...like its got Grape/Orange/Vanilla/Sprite/Lemonade AND Coke in it.

I just want one spout for my drink...thank you.

And don't tell me I can just run water through it before I dish out what I want. I've tried that, and it doesn't fix the problem.

I love you...

2011-09-26T09:51:00.003-05:00

So I was talking to my friend last night, and she was pretty upset. Let's protect identities here...we will call her "Nora T."

So Nora told her new boyfriend she loved him, and was upset because he "didn't say anything back." So...knowing Nora pretty well, I knew there were some things being left out.

"So did he say ANYTHING after you said it? Or just silence. There's a big difference between saying something but not saying it back...and saying NOTHING"

"He said 'I know...'"

HOLY SHIT. Her boyfriend either the sauvest mother-fucker this side of Alderan or the biggest nerd.

WHAT GUY QUOTES THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK AFTER THE FIRST "I LOVE YOU!"

Well clearly he's not the slickest guy because it upset her. But MAN. If I could go back and do it all over again with Kendle...I'D sure as shit try to pull that. That's solid nerd gold right there.

So of course the first words out of my mouth were "Holy shit, just like Han Solo!" to which she replied...

"Is that from a movie?"

So now I feel bad, cause I kinda dimed him out. He was trying to be this super suave roguish character and he would have gotten away with it...if it wasn't for that meddling Hunka!

In closing...have fun with this Family Guy interpretation of the same scene...

Wait...what's the name of this place?

2011-09-22T08:48:00.001-05:00

So the other day, Colin tells me there is a new pizza place real near our favorite BBQ place and we are going there for lunch. So we wander down there, me getting totally tuned around and lost because I never know where I am in the city.

So we pass under that sign you see on the right there, and it's all "olde english" font, and my brian doesn't really have time to process it...I'm hungry!

So we get in there and it's pizza by the slice, so we just order a few slices and wings and drinks and procede to do our lunch time thing. So we are about 1/2 way through lunch when we start looking at the whole pies they offer. And they have cute names. On really spicy one is called INFERNO, which intersts me, and as I'm looking over the other pies to see if there is one that Kendle would like, I start to notice a theme.

...Beatrice
...Virgil

"Wait a minute. Are all these pizza's named after Dante's Inferno?" I ask and start looking around. There are flames on the wall, and the upper left side of the menu depicts a man being guided by a spirit. It starts to click for me.

"Yeah, what did you think...that this place just enjoyed the color red and flames as decore?" Colin answered.

"What's the name of this place?" I asked, now wildly looking around taking it all in.

"...Dante's Pizzeria. Dude, seriously, we've been here for 30 minutes and you are just now getting this?"

So that's the new pizza place in the Logan Square area. IT.IS.AWESOME. The wings are great. Spicy, not over sauced, and the pizza is huge. I would never recommend getting more than one. If you are hungry, get a slice and some wings, or a slice and a salad or something...but do not get two, you wont finish them.

Needs more dude!

2011-09-21T09:49:00.000-05:00

So Three Olives (the choice of flavored vodka at Boltini) came out with a new flavor. It's bright green and says dude. Now with this promotional image to the left here, you immediately know what it tastes like. But look JUST at the bottle, and see if you don't wonder what "Dude" tastes like.

So we asked Liz what was up with it, and what does it taste like. She confirms your suspicions...it tastes like
Mt. Dew. But remember, this is all news to us.

My jaw drops. I love Mt. Dew! And here's a little known secret. I love Bu-and-Dew.

Bu-and-Dew is a concoction that Chris VonSeele (which I learned is pronounced Von Zay-la last night) came up with to introduce young, apprehensive about drinking, women to the wonders that is getting hammered. Sure, everyone's had a Malibu and Coke, but what if your bar doesn't have coke? Sub in Mt. Dew!

I've gotten off track. So in my head, im like...Mt. Dew Vodka + Malibu will make me DOUBLE drunk! So, I re-tell the story of the Bu-and-Dew to Liz and lo and behold, she starts mixing together the ingredients with out me even asking.

She started with the Malibu and put in a good amount. Then shakes in some Dude. Smells the drink, and throws in a second helping of Dude.

I was watching this whole ordeal, and when she added more Dude, I shouted "NEEDS MORE DUDE!" because I could tell by the look on her face she was unhappy with the drink.

Well the shots showed up, and I downed mine with vigor. Jayk, Kendle, and Liz took a cautious sip, and put it down. They were not having it. Unfortunately...vodka...no matter what it tastes like, does NOT mix with rum well.

Even though it was pretty terrible, I was in a position to be on my high horse for finishing mine, and to pester the others to finish theirs. They just pushed all three shots my direction. Ugh.

"Liz, can I get like 1/2 a glass of sprite or something?"

Adding the shots to the soda helped...a little. I did manage to finish the drink (which technically at this point was a tripple) and the beer I had in front of me.

Lesson Learned: There is no substitute for the real Bu-and-Dew.

Secondary Lesson: Don't scream out "Needs more dude!" in a bar with gay clientele. It sends mixed messages to the other people there.

A Bone to Pick

2011-09-20T08:28:00.000-05:00

So Sheila sent me a ton of questions to answer for some game they were gonna play at the bridal shower this weekend. I went ahead and answered them but there was one in particular I was pretty proud of.

Q) What movie character does Kendle remind you of?
A) Remy from Ratatouilleand I sent along a link to this video as extra explanation.

Get it? It's cause she's always carrying on about food this and seasonings that. I thought it was kinda an awesome answer.

So I'm driving back to Chicago last night with Kendle and Julie (who was also at the shower). Julie says "Real nice answer Ben...you compared your fiancée to a rat!"

"But there was a movie link I provided...did Sheila show that off?"

"No, no she did not."

BONE TO PICK:
Sheila, you HAVE a smart phone...I provided you with an awesome video link, and you didn't SHOW it at the party?! WHY YOU MAKE ME LOOK LIKE ASSHOLE?!

I mean I could see if I just wrote down "Remy" and called it a day, but no, I sifted through pages and pages of links to find the perfect video...one that would explain exactly what I wanted, without being too long, or having other parts of the movie in it...all for nothing.

Other answers I was considering but did not answer:

Ellie from Up - but Kendle is neither barren or dead, so it didn't really fit.

Alice from Resident Evil - Kendle has not yet fought off hoards of virus infected humans, nor gone after any large corporations for revenge.

Scumbag Website

2011-09-15T09:26:00.000-05:00

You may or may not be aware of the Scumbag Steve Meme, but it basicly consists of putting this hat either on steve himself, or on another character and calling out ones flaws.

Usually when you put it on Steve, you talk about some stoner flaw, but as meme's do, it mutated into any flaw on anyone.

So I apologize for just letting that sit there for over a week, hopefully this will make up for it...

Here's a page full of Scumbag Steve.

And here's a page full of other people under the hat.

Wedding Update

2011-09-07T08:24:00.000-05:00

Man, I'm trying REAL hard to not make this "The Wedding Blog" cause that shit is super important to about two people right now, and you are not one of them...unless you are Kendle...she reads this. Then it's important to you. Ok, so POTENTIALLY that shit is important to you, but there is a really good chance you are not Kendle, in which case its not.

But then...it's what's going on right now, right? And that's WHAT THIS BLOG IS ABOUT. So let's just split the difference and I'll compile all the stuff into one post. Then you can skip it if it's not newsworthy to you.

Ok, first off, invitations are out. The Chicago USPS has failed me twice already and I've only been here less than a year. I went 31 years in CU and never had a problem, so with something as important as "come to my party" invites, I decided to wait till I was in CU and use their mail system. Yes, there are people in Chicago we invited, and so we will have to use the Chicago USPS for some of them, but hopefully the majority of the invites will not touch that system.

Second, we had our first premarital counseling session, as deemed necessary by the church. Before we went in there we had to take an online survey of about 150 questions about how we feel about things. Like number of kids, spirituality, money matters, etc. Well we only went over two categories so far, but the lady doing our counseling ended the session with "I'd like to get to a part where you guys actually disagree on some things, cause right now you two are 100% in agreement on all your answers." So...THAT'S probably a good sign.

Finally, showers. Kendle had one, and in two weeks she has another, which for me (and this is really exciting) means I GET A WEEKEND WHERE I DON'T HAVE TO DRIVE ALL THE WAY TO CHAMPAIGN! I'm pretty sure there are more weekends IN Champaign than away from it at this point. I mean I love hanging out at my bars and seeing my friends, and driving all over town cause it only take 20 mins to get anywhere, and everywhere has free parking. But damn if that Sunday drive back to Chicago is just the worst. Not only is Sunday a day of rest that I now spend in the car, its been just awesome on Sunday recently....days ment to be spent outside, not driving through 55/90-94/290 interchange traffic.

Surprise Jayk? Shoot...it surprised ME!

2011-09-06T10:34:00.000-05:00

So last weekend it was Jayk's Birthday. I won't say WHICH one, but it's certainly a number between 25 and 100, and as such, birthdays do not become a celebration but rather something to dread.
But I'm super selfish, and I think I know what's best for people, so I called up Jayk and told him to meet Kendle and I out for a drink. Now I had called other people to join us, but Jayk had not publicized the date as being his b-day, nor set anything up, everyone had made other plans.
So I did invite Jayk out with just us. That was the plan, a few drinks, dinner and then home. Well then the Dop's were all texting "Where are you, we can come meet up"
And then Heather's thing got over, and we were still out so she stopped in.
And Julie was in town, and needed an excuse to get out of the house, and Shelia joined her. Then Kendle's sister and her boyfriend were in town randomly, so THEY came out.
All of a sudden it was midnight, and we had filled the front 1/4 of the bar, and consumed MANY rounds of b-day shots. At one point Jayk looks over at me, shakes his fist and scowls. He's pissed I pulled off this surprise birthday for him. I just shrugged back at him. "Not my fault" was the sentiment I was trying to impress upon him. The big secret is that it was JUST as much of a surprise for me as it was for him.

More site updates

2011-08-29T16:48:00.004-05:00

New header image. I was kinda tired of the skyline, and wanted to get back to my old header, which was one iconic building for the town I'm in.

EVEN LARGER width on the blog. It gives the sidebar a little room to stretch out. I think the base template started off at like 800, which I bumped up to 860, but now we are at 950. It also...

...makes room fo for the "What I'm Watching" section, which is a new section I added. I kept finding cool videos, but they were not cool enough to warrant a whole blog post. So now the plan is to update that little guy every time I find something fun.

Children of the Corn 7

2011-08-29T14:04:00.003-05:00

For the past 7 years Fort Dop has had a keg, corn, and a movie in an all day affair called "Children of the Corn Fest" This being the 7th year, and there only being 7 movies out, thoughts moved to shooting a home brew movie.

And let me tell you, when Dop does something, he does it RIGHT. The guy already has a script writer and cinematographer. Now of course it won't be a feature length movie, but it will surely capture the spirit of the movies and really....we just need another excuse to get together.

Thankfully, even if the home brew movie is not completed by next year, there is a NEW Children of the Corn that came out THIS YEAR! Straight to DVD, so you KNOW it's awesome.

Seriously. Saw knew when to quit, stop beating a dead horse CotC!

The current state of Point and Click video games

2011-08-20T16:39:00.002-05:00

I wrote another one for the EGSC, this one is about the current state of point and click adventure games. THEY ARN'T DEAD! :)

http://www.egschicago.com/2011/08/20/the-current-state-of-point-and-click/

Jesus I'm good at this stuff

2011-08-19T10:13:00.000-05:00

So I had some free time so I finally got around to doing this:

Yep, I set up Time Machine so my hard drive is auto backing up and I can do the cool zoom through space to get files I deleted back.

But I didn't stop there. Oh no, I went ahead and did this:

'Cause I was tired of Kendle always asking to print stuff and grabbing the printer cable out of the back of the desktop when I was CLEARLY doing really important things like working on my Starcraft 2 game.

Then I was all..."Doesn't my router have a USB port? For sharing Hard Drives and Printers and stuff?" So I went ahead and set this up:

It's only a 1 GB for now, but really...to tripple back-up my financial data, and Delicious Library, and transfer files to other computers...thats all I need.

How Colin keeps me grounded

2011-08-16T07:37:00.005-05:00

Guys. I tend to...how should I put this...overreact when it comes to crime. It's not without reason. Ask any of my family members why I don't like to go on vacation. It's cause I like being around my stuff. I like to know that if I need a pen, I know where one is, or if I wanna watch hell be unleashed, I can pop in my copy of Gladiator. Is it too hot? I got a fan! I love my stuff.

So since moving to Chicago, and getting on a few local message boards, I hear less and less about "what there is to do" and more and more about "who's shit got stolen and where" Things like who's iPod got stolen, or what 7-11 got "flash mobbed." Oh or this one. This one was a trip. This guy got his iPhone snatched right out of his hand. So he chases the criminal, catches up to him and offers him 20 bucks for HIS OWN SHIT BACK. Criminal agrees, and when the 20 bucks comes out of the wallet, buddy gets bashed in the head and the 20 bucks taken too!

And these aren't "chicago crime" message boards. They are just general "chicago information" boards. So recently one of the posts was pleading with the people to stop posting about "please be safe" and that "we live in a city with a crime problem...deal with it."

So Colin says that living in a city with a crime problem should be SORTA comforting. I don't remember his words exactly, but basically the thought process is that if you take one ounce of precaution, you will be a harder mark than the dummy next to you waving his iPhone around and digging around in his wallet for 10 minutes trying to find something. HIS stuff will get stolen, not yours. So now I breathe a little easier at night. Well that and the 2nd floor climb seems like it might be a little too hard for a crime of opportunity.

So I went to Comic Con over the weekend...

2011-08-15T08:24:00.008-05:00

You know all those blog posts I write about video games? Well they got vendor passes for Comic Con, and since I contribute, I got to go. For free. The vendors were neat, but there were way to many comics, and not enough toys and games for sale. I also saw ECTO 1, the 1970's TV show Batmobile, and the DeLorean from Back to the Future. That was pretty fun.

But then I MET and talked to THIS guy:

Thats right, Troy the Chain Guy from Saw 3! We sat and chatted for awhile, between interruptions from other fans. He's a pretty alright guy. Also, I learned that the chain scene took 1 day to shoot. 4 hours of makup, 11 hours to shoot, and 4 more hours of makeup removal! What a trooper.

Then I saw this guy, and I just HAD to shake his hand:

Thats right...I shook hands with Atreyu from the Neverending Story. If I could go back in time and tell my 6 year old self this would happen, I'm sure the little guy would shit bricks.

Hell If I could tell the April 2008 me that would happen, he wouldn't believe it!

Both of these guys were there, but I didnt want to wait in line just to say hi.

So I just peeked in and waved.

This kid was there:

But I didn't want to catch failure, so I just walked past him.

Oh, so comics right. I met and talked to the guy who does Erfworld. Which is a silly little comic based on video games. He's fun. I felt bad talking to all these guys cause they were clearly there to sell stuff, and I just wasn't buying. I dont need autographed pics of people. I have the memories. But it was really cool to meet these guys. Even if they weren't the biggest stars there, they were big deals to me, and my child hood...well not the Saw 3 guy. That would be fucked up if he was a big part of my childhood.

Eventually...I'll need a new slogan

2011-08-12T08:57:00.004-05:00

There's a slogan up at the top of the page. It used to stand out more but since I changed the image to a lighter blue, it doesnt really stand out as much. It's under the hunka.net logo.

Anywho, I found this site that will create slogans for you based off your own input. Here are a few of the ones it came up with that I liked:

1. Style outside, Hunka inside.
2. Christmas time is Hunka time
3. Hunka makes you better <-- This one is actually true!
4. You need Hunka everyday

Point and Click fun

2011-08-11T10:07:00.003-05:00

Remember playing Kings Quest? Sam and Max? No? oh, well I wrote a post about how to play those games and tons more just like them on the EGS today.

http://www.egschicago.com/2011/08/10/s-c-u-m-m-on-current-oss/

Tetra Master

2011-08-10T08:59:00.003-05:00

Some of you will know about Tetra Master...some of you will not. Let's explain it for those of you who have never played Final Fantasy 8, 9, or 11. If you can get past the next two paragraphs about a videogame, this post is actually about something that happened to me in real life.

Tetra Master is a virtual card game that only exists (to my knowledge) in these two video games. As you played the main game (each spanning 4 CD's), you would collect cards that you could then use to play versus computer opponents (the Playstation 1 didn't have the ability to connect to the internet), called NPC's or Non-Player Characters, throughout the game. It was totally optional and more of a way to pass the time rather than a main point of the story.

Not everyone you met in the game had a deck to play with, so you had to go up to people and press SQUARE instead of X to start a game. If they had a deck, they would play, if not, they would say some nonsense about what was going on in the game at the time.

So I'm on my way to the library yesterday (lets call that my quest), when I see a guy, sitting on the sidewalk setting up dominos. Immediately my thoughts went to Tetra Master. Here we have some random dude on the street (a NPC!) who's got a game to play (like Tetra Master). If only I had some dominos of my own, perhaps we could be friends.

Alas, I did not, so instead of playing a game and becoming the best of friends, I just said some nonsense about what was going on in the main story line.

"Sorry, no change today"

Is Google+ supposed to be a Facebook Killer?

2011-07-25T09:01:00.006-05:00

Or are we all just trying to pigeon hole it into that so we can grasp what it is.

When my company launched Wolfram|Alpha the tech community, blogs, and web comics all started talking about how Wolfram|Alpha was a "Google Killer", when in fact it was an entirely new product.

But reviewers and critics and the general populace couldn't grasp that there was a page online with a search box that didn't search the INTERNET, but rather searched a DATA SET provided to to. It was not something that everyone would use (although, I'm sure the guys over at Alpha would LOVE it if that was the case), but rather a tool that was available to everyone, but not that everyone would necessarily want to use everyday.

Trying to kill Google in search is just bad business sense. The market is filled. Everyone uses Google for search, every one knows Google for search, it would be an uphill battle that you would loose. Quickly. The smart move is to find a void and fill it. Thats what we did with Alpha, and it makes me wonder...is that what Google+ did?

Facebook is saturated. It's world wide...everyone is on it. Why try to steal people away from that? It was hard enough to get people ONTO that, now you want them to switch? Every time Facebook changes its look or the way things work, there is a huge backlash and groups start up about how they want the old shit back. Do you really expect these people to willingly change the way things work? No. They wont, and you wouldn't expect them to. But if you offered something new, something that provided a different function, they wouldn't necessarily have to switch...just check out the new thing.

Let's look at this....Google+ thing. There is no wall, like in Facebook. You cannot place a fun message on a frieds profile for ALL his/her friends to see. You can only post to YOUR stream, and have enough people watching you that it get's seen. I guess you could make a circle that only has one person in it so they would see it....but what's the point?

There is no integrated messaging system. Google already did that years ago..it's called gmail. And while there is a little bar across the top that gets you to things like your mail, calendar and other google services, you may use yahoo mail, and then this is worthless. Facebook has Facebook messages that you have to log in (and view their ads while there) to see.

Video group chat was the big new feature Google+ introduced. Hangouts they call them. Go online, and hangout with friends via webcam. Now Facebook must have been working on this too, but their video chat came out later, and it's not widely used, and it's in beta. So what we see here is a NEW market that google is breaking into.

Facebook has groups which rely on people in the groups posting content, sharing links, etc. Google+ doesn't have this. They have sparks, but that relies on using search to find relevant topics. As near as I can tell, I can't post things to a specific spark, nor can I communicate or find other people interested in the same topic. It's more like a jumping off point (or a spark....get it?) for you to find interesting content and post it to your stream.

I think the NEXT job SEO people may have to face is how to get your content in to a SPARK, not just be high up on Google search results. Maybe that's the same job. I'm not sure how sparks work behind the scenes.

Google+ seems more like a way to integrate alot of their services (gchat, gmail, Google Docs, Google Reader, Buzz, Blogger, etc) into a tighter, more unified package. It's not trying to kill Facebook, its trying to add a social layer to it's existing products.

Google+ is not a Facebook killer. It's just been pigeon holed into this David and Goliath story...cause the media loves a good story.

Zelda

2011-07-20T09:57:00.003-05:00

I wrote a post for the Electronic Gaming Society. It's about Windwaker and I ask why so many people hate it. It's a really good game. This post is a huge departure from my typical "here's how you install a game" posts. It's more of a real review of a game.

You can check it out here:
http://www.egschicago.com/2011/07/19/why-all-the-hate-for-windwaker/

In addition, I've added a new category with links to ALL my EGS posts up at the top there. Kevin was kind enough to give me my own post section.

Begging in Logan Square

2011-07-13T14:22:00.004-05:00

So last Friday I'm meeting up with Colin for lunch. As I'm walking down California, this young, well groomed, pink polo'd man stops me and says:

"Excuse me sir, I'm trying to get to Whiting..."

"Oh man, did you ever ask the wrong guy...I barely know where I am...let alone how to get to Whiting" I replied, naive as ever to the oncoming con.

"Oh no, I don't need directions. My girlfriend spazzed out on me and kicked me out of the car. She's got my bags and wallet and I just need some cash to get home. All these people out here are treating me so poorly, like I'm some degenerate...."

"Uhh...I only have cards, sorry bud"

And I left, and went on to my destination and relayed the story to Colin over some delicious Louisiana chicken strips.

Now, that's not a very fun story, right? Well good thing it doesnt end here.

So 3 days later, I'm helping Colin move into his new house. We are struggling with the sofa. We have been at it for 20 minutes, and will continue to struggle for 10 more, but this happens:

Picture this, 2 guys out on the stoop yelling in to a third... "PIVOT! Now bring it back....PIVOT!" and this guy calls out from the street...

"Excuse me guys, can you help me and my son, we are trying to get to Bloomington...."

I turn around and see the SAME DAMN GUY on the street, cept this time he's got "his kid" with him. I look at Colin who's stuffed behind the couch inside and whisper...."That's the SAME GUY from Friday!"

Immediatly Colin jumped into action.

"Hey, I don't mean to be an asshole or anything, but clearly we are busy here, and you gave the same sad sack story to my friend here last Friday."

The guy sheepishly looked at the ground and moved on. First of all...that wasn't his kid...it was PROBABLY more like his brother. I mean, they looked alot alike. What kind of example is that to set for this kid? That THIS is a way to spend your afternoons? Secondly....beggers of Logan Square...Chicago may be a big city, but if you don't move OFF THE SAME DAMN STREET, you are bound to run into the same people, and your cover will be blown.

Finally...good sir, you ARE a degenerate. People were treating you exactly as they should have.

Hunka out.

I get to see this...

2011-07-06T10:08:00.003-05:00

Guys....on Saturday I get to see this:

on this:

in this:

Best day ever. Do you know how hard it was to not see it last weekend? Do you know how hard it has been to not read reviews or look at scenes posted online? Megan Fox or not, this movie is still going to rock my socks. You know how I know? Cause everyone HATES it. Everyone hated Revenge of the Fallen too. They whined about how it had no plot, was over sexed and had no actors. It STILL made a shit ton of money, so clearly people just wanna see big robots fight. This movie is getting the same scuttle butt (as near as I can gather from headlines...remember, I'm not reading reviews), so I know it's gonna be awesome.

Side note, Anything I should do/eat while at Navy Pier? I figured I'd go early get lunch...make a day of it.

The most unsatisfying thing you can do...

2011-06-27T10:33:00.004-05:00

...is clean the apartment you are moving OUT of. On one had, yes, of course it's clean and you are done moving and its all good. On the other hand, you just sweated and scrubbed and swept and got in a fight about how clean things actually have to be and then you walk downstairs and YOUR shit is still dirty.

Oh and everytime I clean, I manage to somehow get bleach on me:

Thats the second grey shirt now that has little pink bleach spots on it.

No post today

2011-06-22T13:07:00.002-05:00

My post on how to install Ultima 7 DID go live today, so you can go read that instead. It's an old DOS game, and I've written up some step by step instructions on how to get this game running on more current operating systems.

http://www.egschicago.com/2011/06/22/ultima-7-on-current-oss/

Movies movies and MOAR MOVIES

2011-06-20T13:53:00.006-05:00

So I got to Blockbuster yesterday (yeah, they still have those here), and I rent a movie. The guy at the counter says to me "If you rent a new release, you can get that (the one I have in my hand) movie for free. THEN when you return them both, you can get ANOTHER non-new release movie for free."

And here's the kicker part of all this.

"And you can keep swapping out your non-new release for a different non-new release for free till July 4th."

So basically from here till July, I have complete free access to the entire store. And I can do this all day long if I wanted to. I just have to be willing to walk the 1/2 block to the store after I finish watching them.

Kendle's leaving on bussiness next week, so you know THAT means?

Hell yes.

What I've been up to

2011-06-14T09:24:00.003-05:00

So you may have noticed that the posts have slowed down a bit around here. That's cause I've been writing for a Chicago videogame blog. I've writing a series of posts on how to get old DOS games up and running on more current OS's.

Here's the first one:

http://www.egschicago.com/2011/06/13/relentless-on-current-oss/

oh and I wrote an intro post, incase you didn't see that on Facebook.

http://www.egschicago.com/2011/06/09/classic-games-on-current-oss/

AND I'm currently writing the second post for the series and they take alot of work. WAY more than my posts here. So stick with me, I'm taking on alot, but I'll try and keep up :)

Where my money goes

2011-06-13T13:29:00.002-05:00

ONE MAN get's ALOT of my money. I need to figure out how to do this.

Brussel Sprouts are a punishment

2011-06-10T10:33:00.005-05:00

So Kendle serves brussel sprouts last night. She comes home, and starts putzing around in the kitchen and I ask whats shes cooking.

"Brussel sprouts, mashed potatoes, chicken" she answered.

"Brussel sprouts? Isn't that what people serve kids when they have been bad? Arn't they a punishment?" I asked.

She just rolled her eyes, and said "You've never even had them, how can you know."

Well fast forward to dinner, and she gave me like...a PILE of these things. I ate them. Oh, I ate them and then some more and then even more, and when I was all done, there were STILL a ton on my plate. So I start in on my chicken and as I'm eating the last few bites of that succulent meat, a stray brussel sprout managed to make its way onto my fork along with some chicken.

"I see you sprout!" I yelled. "Chicken bone wall!" I cried as I started to pen in the brussel sprouts. "You won't be sneaking on to MY fork!"

Kendle snapped a quick pic and then asked if I could eat one more. Here's my reaction to THAT:

In all seriousness though, they weren't that bad. She didn't steam them, they were not mush. They had some sorta sauce on them. She's a good cook.

Flash mobs

2011-06-09T08:32:00.005-05:00

File this under "things I just didn't have to worry about in Champaign." Sure, mob hits in front of the local mall in broad daylight are a normal day for CU, but at least thats a targeted crime. This shit is just random. Flash mobs, are NOT when a group of improv people get together and break out into dance in unision.

Well, not in Chicago.

Flash mobs are just muggings. You are walking along, minding your own business, when suddenly you are surrounded by a ton of teenagers who just beat the shit out of you and take your wallet. The other way it works is that a ton of teenagers will just bust in your store take what they want and run out. When they leave, they disperse in multiple directions, making it hard for the police to chase.

This kind of thing has been going on overseas FOREVER, and I guess its just now making its way over here.

So anywho, I'm on my way to the Library yesterday, and what do I see hanging out a block away? A ton of teenagers. Not taking my chances, I cross the street, and then back again just to get to the library. While I'm on the other side of the street, I get to thinking...

I can't wait to have a kid, cause I'm pretty sure these teenagers wouldn't target me if I had a kid with me. People generally hate terrorizing kids, so they don't mug people with kids.

Woah! Batman! What do you mean?

Jesus guys, way to rain on my parade! I guess they are right. Having kids with me won't shield me from the dangers of flash mobs....err, I mean muggings.

I'm moving

2011-06-07T08:53:00.003-05:00

Yeah, check your calendar. It's not April 1st. I'm not joking. After four short months here, I'm moving. Let's take a look at things.

1 month to move in
1 month to figure out what you actually need and rebuy things you left behind.
2 months LIVING

START ALL OVER AGAIN

Ugh.

But, before you get your panties in a knot (Colin) or start jumping for joy...I'm moving across the hall and down one floor. You know how when we moved in some dude had fallen asleep on the couch and burned out an apartment? Well it was a 2 BR and now thats its been renovated cleaned up, etc....that's where we are moving. Good news...we get a door that locks and was NOT busted in with an axe!

Things that are better about the new place.

1) One less floor to run up and down
2) DOES NOT FACE THE L
3) Porch is 2X as large, 3X quieter, and has 5X more shade
4) 2 bed rooms, for my office
5) 2 Full baths, so when people come and visit...2 people can get ready for the day at once
6) Parking space is NOT in an ally that is 3 inches too short to manuver in, so my car will stop getting scraped up

So yeah, Colin gets a house, and Hunka gets a new apartment all on the same day. I like to think of it NOT as moving to a new apartment, but more like, slowly moving out. Who knows, maybe next year we will move into the retail space on the first floor, and 6 months after that, out of the building.

McCormicks Spring 2011

2011-05-31T08:35:00.003-05:00

It's that time of year again. As of the writing of this, Colin had yet to post anything about the trip, but he had posted something PRE-trip. So get over there and check that out. Probably check back later this week too...I bet he will write something later.

There were a few new additions to the crew this year and this guy is one of them:

A little explanation is necessary I'm sure. This guy is competing to win a trip for him and his wife to Disney World. She's abroad internationally right now, so for her to come home and get to spend some quality time with her husband in the most magical place on earth would be REALLY awesome. You know before the two of them ship out for their tour with GREENPEACE. So before these two people go give back to the world, lets give him a little rest and relaxation!

So we so we spent the weekend hiking and cooking out and just generally having a blast, when he mentions this contest. From what I understand you are allowed to vote once every 24 hours. It's free, and takes like 20 seconds of your time. No registration necessary. So let's help out SIMON ANDERSON.

Just go to this page:

http://wixy.com/pages/9766531.php?imageGalleryXRefId=2329565#imgXR
and click on SIMON ANDERSON (near the bottom of the page) and then click vote. Then go vote again, 24 hours later.

The idea is to emulate this cat:

I think he did a pretty good job.

Stutter step pimp walk

2011-05-20T16:18:00.005-05:00

I was in the library today. This kid walks in. But he doesn't just walk in, he STRUTS in. Like remember in the early 90's when like, you would limp around to be cool? Like how a pimp would walk in the 70's (everyone borrows from SOMEONE clearly). That how this kid was walking. A slow limp followed by a quick hop. A stutter step pimp walk. I mean, I'm pretty sure that was somehow gang emulation OR perhaps he was actually in a gang and this was his way of letting everyone know. I thought for sure he would do it a few times and then stop, but NO. He did this the whole way back to the magazine section, where I stopped watching. But seriously, COME ON.

It's the god damned library. No ones on anyones turf IN the library. Also, kid, you are like ten years old. Try and have a shot at life before you really just throw it all away. Wait untill you are at least in high school.

Anyways...another day in Chicago I guess....

How I like to mess with lazy employees

2011-05-11T09:21:00.000-05:00

When you get a combo meal at subway, you get a sandwich, chips and a drink for some lower price. Subways are notoriously understaffed and busy, and if you hit it right, they will tell you to just get your own cup.

This is where the scam comes in.

Although I would not really call it a scam, so much as a punishment. You see..I'm paying a premium for your establishment to serve me. I know theres very little SERVICE at subway but one of the little things they can do is actually hand me a cup. I

Not handing me a cup is fucking lazy as shit, so I ALWAYS take this cup:

ALWAYS.

And before you get all pissy about how thats stealing, and how those places keep inventory on the cups and their register will be off and they will get fired, etc etc etc, STOP.

I'm PRETTY sure that the subway in question does NOT give you the discount they are supposed to when you ask for the meal. They never hand me a receipt showing the discount, just the total charged. Also, if you look closely the discount they give you for getting chips and a drink is something like 7 cents. Each subway sets their own price on these kinds of things, so basically this establishment is ripping people off every day.

The kicker? I don't even want that much soda. I usually throw out 1/2 of it, but at least I got a little of my cash back.

Post Script:
"Why don't you just stop going to places that rip you off?"

Cause otherwise I'd be eating at Pizza Hut/KFC every day and I'd be QUITE a bit larger.

Lincoln Park Zoo

2011-05-10T09:12:00.000-05:00

With no Mom nearby to celebrate/lavish with gifts, instead we went to the zoo. This picture pretty much sums it up:

Except the wolves. I know I'm not supposed to get super excited about wolves, so I don't I inspire another 16 years of wolf t-shirts, and "Sounds of the Wolves" CD gifts, but seriously guys...wolves are freaking sweet. The wolves were, of course, tucked away in the childrens section of the zoo. Where else would you put vicious pack hunters? The king of the hunters of small things that squeal alot? You put them in with all the little kids of course!

Jokes aside, we did see alot of cool things. Big cats are cool too. In fact we saw this one strutting around like a pimp, so I took some video. Then I put the video to some 70's porn music.

....and that's what happens when you give me a camera, a zoo, and some free time.

Doppelgangers

2011-05-09T10:20:00.004-05:00

One fun thing about living in a larger city is doppelgangers. You walk down the street and you see someone you know out of the corner of your eye. You spin around and BAM! It's not at all who you thought it was.

I saw a Colin and Kristen doppelganger the other day. It all added up really. I KNEW they were out looking for houses, and here was this couple with a realtor coming out of a house with a for sale sign on it.

He was bearded, tall and wearing flannel, she was short with brown hair. I double taked and it was not Colin and Kristen at all, just some other young hipster couple looking for a home in Logan Square. (That's right...I said it...Colin is a hipster, as much as he wants to deny it!)

Next I saw two Zacks. Not together, but over the course of the next few days I saw two different people who looked like two different Zacks. Which is weird because I have not seen alot of Zack, but here in the city...I guess his signature look is all over the place :)

The first Zack I saw was the Zack of today. The guy just had the facial structure and cloths that made me look longer to make sure it wasn't him.

The second Zack was for sure a high school Zack lookalike. I knew it wasn't Zack, so there was no double take, but I did stare at him alot. He had that signature floppy curly hair he used to sport in HS. Ah memories!

So now I'm on the lookout. Who knows which blast from the past I'll see next!

Bin Laden

2011-05-04T08:59:00.005-05:00

Note: It's long, but I think the last sentence makes it all worth it.

I don't want to be a debbie downer with all this chest puffing, USA chanting, and flag waving going on, but the NUMBER ONE RULE of business is NEVER make a person your mascot. Wendy's did it with Dave, Apple did it with Steve Jobs, and they both back pedaled so fast it would make your head spin.

When Steve Jobs got sick and took time off, all of a sudden you started hearing names like Phill Schiller, and Johnny Ive. These guys have been around just as long if not longer than SJ. But Apple put all their eggs into one frail cancer ridden basket. So now that the basket is looking like its time to retire we all of a sudden find out that there's a TEAM of people that go into this, and don't worry, your next iPod will be just as good as when you thought Steve was sitting up in Apple HQ dreaming this shit up himself. Seriously, go back and look at the promotional material around the time that he was first announced to be sick. It was right around the time the unibody MacBook Pro came out, and EVERYONE BUT Steve Jobs was in that video.

I'm putting this into consumerist terms, cause that's what us Americans seem to be able to grasp easiest.

The point is, if I was the target of the American army for just under 10 years, I'd put some backup teams in place, and have PLENTY of time to train replacements. Yes, the death of Bin Laden was a great victory for America and surely brought closure to all those people's families who were directly influenced by the 9/11 attacks, but this talk of how all of a sudden we are going to get our freedoms back that they took away...no. I'm sorry, that's not gonna happen.

Here's the worst part. We now have a GENERATION of kids growing up thinking that getting on a plane means taking off your shoes and getting your full body cavity search. As we roll this ball along further and further, we are going to have a harder time stopping it.

I've learned, at the many jobs I've held, that once you start doing something, even if its not the most efficient way, you don't change. Not cause you can't, but because people are so used to doing it that way that they don't bother to ask WHY they do it that way, and just do it. We get super comfortable just doing what we have always done.

Second point. I'm not 100% sure the 9/11 attacks were just about terror and lives lost. For some reason ever since then I've noticed ALOT of anti-government sentiments, alot of government miss-trust and alot of lines drawn. Red/Blue, North/South, Rich/Poor. I don't know if it's someone taking advantage of these attacks or if the shock that we are not so safe over here made people just naturally start drawing those lines, but guys....we are NOT working together anymore.

If we stop working together, America falls apart, and the terrorists really HAVE won.

I guess the shortened version is: It's good that it happened, and I'm proud of our troops and government for doing this, but it ain't over by a long shot.

I guess the upside is that not only did they kill Bin Laden, but they seized all his documents, and communications and all that shit. My guess is that the coming weeks are going to be like the last fifteen minutes of the godfather.

Back to the basics

2011-04-27T15:47:00.000-05:00

Guys, when I was a young nerd of 21 I played Jak and Daxter and was immediately hooked. It was the first game I actually went beyond beating and went for 100% completion, which scored me a secret ending. The secret ending foreshadowed a sequal, and I couldn't wait. When it came out, I replayed the first one and then the second one, and so a tradition was born.

I replay the games every year now. Well, I did, but for the past few years (maybe 3 or 4) I have not. No only have no more games come out to make me get excited, but I've been busy I guess.

So here I am, replaying all 5 of the games that came out for PS2 again. Reviving the tradition as it were.

Well, the first game has a secret ending, and I go googling to see if there are other secret endings. See the storyline in these games is of a feature film quality. There is time travel, romance, a secret race of god-like beings, mystery. The works! So I wanted to make sure I had it all down. That I wasnt missing anything. So off I went, and while I didn't find anything new, I did find this crazy video for you to watch:

And while I love Jak and Daxter, I think it speaks volumes about the song when you can put ANYTHING to it and it's still just as powerful and emotional.

After watching this, Kendle and I watched the real deal. The lion king...special edition. Talk about destroying my childhood. They added in this extra song. It was terrible. I'll leave this here for you:

I mean they did a good job of splicing it into the movie. It was seamless with a scene that was in the original but just imagine my disapointment when all of a sudden there is this terrible song happening when I didn't expect it.

Well, this blog post got off track. The point is...back to basics guys. I'm replaying some video games and its awesome.

My ever expanding world/best friend ever

2011-04-26T09:09:00.004-05:00

So Colin IM's me yesterday to go to lunch. He tells me he has a surprise for me. In my head I'm like "Dude, you said you wanted to go to Hot Dougs, this is not going to be a surprise." But I play along anyways. So he showes up at noon and we drive down California. As we pass Hot Dougs, he turns to me and says "I bet you thought we were going there, didn't you?"

Now I'm like "Woah...where ARE we going?!"

That's when we pull into the parking lot of a....wait for it...

TACO BELL!

I was like a kid in a candy store. We go in there and I'm like...man I want that, but I also want that...but I could also have that! I was just so blown away that Colin had been paying attention to how I love to run for the boarder, but haven't been able to in awhile. I mean, I don't think I ever said "man i could really go for some taco bell" ever. But you know in life things come up and he somehow managed to figure it all out. Kudos to that guy. I knew there was a reason he was my best man ;)

The T-bell is close. Not walking but if I need to, I know I can get to it.

So the fun part was Colin ordered one meal, and they brought him out something totally random. So he got to keep that AND get what he ordered. We pigged out on tacos FOREVER. It was a grand lunch.

Side note: What's up with the dual stores. There's a KFC/Pizza hut near me, and this T-bell was a T-bell/KFC. PICK ONE!

Side note again: Beefy Crunch Burrito is NOT delicious.

Wedding Bands

2011-04-25T11:34:00.004-05:00

We got wedding bands over the weekend, and with that brings a few stories.

Story 1

So while we are there the lady is 1/2 getting to know us and bantering, which I REALLY appreciate these days. The city seems really cold and everyones into their own thing, so it's nice to have those little oasis's of someone really taking care of you. Anyways so she's asking questions and we are talking about rings and us and whatnot. So she starts to ask us things.

Her: (looking at me) So she's the dramatic one between you two?

Me: (with out blinking an eye) Oh no, that's me. I'm the drama queen.

Her: *Blank Stare* Oooooo-kay.

Story 2

So the lady shows me all these other options for alternative metals for rings. These bad boys are like...scratch resistant, and look cool as shit. So I pick out the tungsten one. Why? Cause it's cheaper than gold, and it can't break. Ever. So then she tells me they have to cusom order it in my size because once its made, it can't be resized. How bad ass is THAT?!

Then later that day Colin bursts my bubble and is all "you know if you get in an accident and they need to get that ring off your they can't cut it off, so the only other alternative is to take your FINGER off."

YIKES!

Story 3

Guys, I bought a ring thats a) custom made for me and b) so freaking hard it cant be reshaped or resized or even cut off my finger should the need arise. On top of that, the head of a church is going to bless the darn thing, then I get to wear it around for the rest of my days. So lets see what we have here.

Special metal with unique properties
Forged into custom for-me-only jewelry in a far off land
blessed by a dude close to god
given to me on a special day during a special ceremony

I think what we have here is a MAGIC RING! Finally! My own little piece of a fantasy world around my finger. I love it!

I found more old pictures

2011-04-19T09:02:00.001-05:00

If you were following along yesterday you know I went back to Stanage.

If you went to high school with me, or to a prom at Central, you will be interested in these:
PicturesOfFriends
Worktrips

If you went to College with me, you will be interested in these:
College

If you share DNA with me on any level, you will most likely want to see these:
FamilyPortraits
WashingtonDCTrip

And if you think babies are cute, you will want to see these:
PicturesOfMe

Of course there more there (graduation pics, random Shackamack pics from ages ago) but you are gonna have to go hunting around for those.

Best Weekend Ever

2011-04-18T11:04:00.003-05:00

I went home for the first time this past weekend. We had some wedding stuff to take care of, and Kendle had a baby shower to go to (NOT HERS PEOPLE...JESUS, that joke is was only funny the first ten times).

Well thankfully with a little luck we both were able to get on the road early and we had a little extra time in CU to go bowling with Trent and Heather, to the Bars with Jayk and Shiela, I got to party with work people, have lunch with the guys, followed by a game afternoon with the Dops. Breakfast with the rents, fancy steak dinner as well, and Brunch with the inlaws, and I even worked at SC with Brock!

It's like if you took the past 3 years of my life, and condensed it down to the really good parts...thats what we did last weekend. The only complaint I have is that the weekend is only two days long.

OH BUT CHECK THIS.

I'll be back in a few weeks, and I've been invited to a party at Stanage. Me and my tenants are cool like that I guess, and they are throwing a BBQ, and they told me to come to it. I was over there inspecting the property and doing a little light yard work this weekend and if my calculations are correct, it will be like if you took all the best parts of 2004-2006 of my life and condensed it down to one afternoon.

They had beer bottles and cigarette butts all over the front lawn from the party they threw the night before...just like we used to. Then I showed them how to hook up the speakers outside, which they were REALLY happy about. I can only imagine what this will end up being.

Of course, being the outsider and not knowing anyone, it wont be like 2004-2006 when I ruled the stoop and was king of my domain. But whatever...it will still be fun!

I'm learning jQuery

2011-04-13T10:05:00.007-05:00

I'm learning jQuery and so I stole this joke from Reddit and put it up here using some interwebz magic.

Why do hipsters love Harrison Ford?

Click for answer

Fun side note. I met some people out for drinks the other night. I didn't know them at all so we were exchanging info and small talking. Conversation went something like this:

Him: Where are you coming from?
Me: Logan Square, over by (insert cross streets here).
Him: You don't seem like a hipster.
Me: Who said anything about hipsters? Did I say I was a hipster? I am not a hipster.

So great. Just cause of where I live I've been branded.

Pensive Hunka

2011-04-07T09:02:00.005-05:00

So Kendles parents were staying with us this past weekend. Why has it taken me so long to tell you about it? Cause it took me this long to get the pictures off Kendles camera, and whats a blog post without a picture?

Well anyways the soon-to-be inlaws were here. It's a little bit of a weird position to be in. I have a few places I like to go around here, but they are mostly for drinking and eating. There's not really anything COOL I can show them. I just havn't been here that long. Also, you will remember I moved in during a blizzard. Turns out blizzard or no, Chicagoans tend to go into hibernation in the cold months, so I have not explored a ton.

So we did the tourist thing and went downtown and saw the Art Museum. I wanted to take a picture of me looking really intently at a piece so you would all think I'm secretly smart about art. Here is that atempt:

RIGHT after that photo was taken we get mobbed by security guards, telling us we can't take pictures. Which was odd to me, as I had seen MANY people with professional cameras taking pictures all day long. I had chosen this particular piece because it was deserted and no one else would be in the shot.

Turns out you CAN take photos, just not of the special exhibits. So you probably won't see this piece in a ton of photos. Just the official ones they took for the archive...and that one that Kendle and I took.

Who's lookin' super smart NOW?!

No more Bass at Boltini

2011-04-06T13:51:00.005-05:00

Hmmm, It's going to be far and few between when I can blog about Boltini anymore, but today I was talking to my pal Robb and I was lamenting about how every fucking bar up here has to be so unique and special. Like each one is a fucking snowflake or something. No one can just serve regular beer on tap. It's gotta be micro this or import that. There are VERY few places I can get Bass up here, and NO places that have it on tap.

So I tell Robb this, as he is a purveyor of beerverages and has served me my fair share of Bass from the tap.

Robbs reply?

"omg, so funny. we just took bass off tap here the other day
it is sorta of in honour of Benny"

WHHHHAAAAT?! No Bass at Boltini is like saying they don't have Fire sauce at Taco Bell. Thats like saying KFC now only has 11 secret spices, or the Savoy 16 only has 15 theaters! Oh the humanity! What's next? Cat's and dogs living together?

AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Ok, well all jokes aside, Robb jokes around about how its "sorta in honor of" me but how much of a coincidence is THAT? I leave and within 3 months they take it off tap? Clearly I was the one keeping it on tap there.

Sad day.

I suck at mario

2011-04-05T10:58:00.007-05:00

I was messing around on my computer last night. I figured out how to record my desktop, so I made a movie of me playing Mario.

I really suck.

We didn't have a NES growing up so I missed the whole Mario Craze. I was a Sonic kid. One thing I learned really slowly is that Mario must be wearing like...banana shoes or something. He slides all over the place. It's impossible to stop him when he gets going.

I also have not figured out how to get it to record in 720p. Not that Mario really needs anything beyond this resolution.

Anywho, if you like watching me fuck up five minutes at a time, I can ATEMPT the other worlds. I'd also take requests for other games, even if they are on other systems. As I missed out on the 8-bit era, I don't really know what games are good that i missed.

Parking Passes

2011-04-04T10:29:00.002-05:00

So I have parking passes. I went and got them from the Alderman's office. Do you know what that is? I didn't. I guess it's a guy who makes sure shit gets done in a very small area. So like...you want to start a new business? Go to your Alderman for the permits. Want to throw a block party? You gotta go see your Alderman. Got a problem with garbage pickup? Alderman.

We didn't have those in CU.

Well anyways. I have parking passes. 12 to be exact. So if you were all "We should go visit Ben." And then your SO was like "But where will we park?" and you had to reply "I have no idea." Fret no longer. I have parking for you.

These puppies have to be used up by June 30th too, so get them while they are still fresh. Additionally, you can leave your car out of the City. Park and Ride is THE easiest way to get here. You park your car at a blue line stop, pay a few bucks per day, and ride the EL right to my place. You will walk less than 2 blocks, from your car door to MY door.

If you are so inclined, there is also an air mattress here, so you don't even have to get a hotel room. If you dread the idea of an air mattress and there is only one of you, I have a sweet couch.

Finally, if you want to do ANYTHING besides drink, you better come up with an idea of things you want to do. I've been stuck in this apartment for the last 3 months, so if it happens outside of these 4 walls, I don't know about it yet. With the weather geting nicer, I feel the ability to explore will become easier.

No April Fools

2011-04-01T09:27:00.004-05:00

Kendle says I can't joke about canceling the engagement or calling the wedding off or an "oops baby."

(Personal opinion? Oops babies are the BEST babies!)

So no April Fools joke this year. Instead you can look at these guys:

Google Mail Motion
Crabby the Dungeon Helper
More Motion control jokes
and
iWarp, Interstellar travel for the rest of us

Stupid Kendle, always ruining all my fun...

I got red pepper in my EYE

2011-03-28T10:21:00.002-05:00

So I make this chinese dish. It's called David's Chicken? Why? Cause that's why my dad calls it, and I learned it from him, so that's what I called it.

The recipe calls for you to make hot oil. Which you do by taking six dried red peppers and taking out the seeds and chopping up the red part. Then you heat up the oil and add the chopped up pepper…BAM. Hot oil.

This hot oil ALWAYS causes me problems. Last time, when I added the red pepper to the oil, it created biological warfare in my kitchen. It's like the dish was fighting back and upon adding it to the oil, detonated a small pepper bomb over my stove.

So last night I'm making it again. I figure if I turn on the exhaust fan I'll be ok. I'm trying to learn from my mistakes. So I start cutting up the peppers early. Trying to be prepared to make this dish. Then I go and play video games cause its not time for dinner. Well apparently I scratched my nose bridge next to my left eye at some point.

And my nose starts to burn.

I'm not dumb, I know what must have happened. There was some red pepper on my hands (why it doesn't burn THERE is beyond me) so I need to go re-wash my hands and then my nose.

So I start that process, but it's not really working. I was trying to be careful so I was like, placing water on my nose bridge. Well, since thats not working, I put my head under the faucet.

HOLY SHIT THAT BURNS.

I somehow managed to wash the pepper INTO my eye. I'm blind. I can't see, my eye is just clenched shut. My eye has turned into the center of a small sun in my head socket.

I run/stumble to the bathroom, and throw myself into the shower and flush my eye properly.

Whew. Everything's ok. I finish up the shower, and go back to playing video games.

Now my eye is a little sore, hella red, and its oozing like mad to get the last bits of whatever out of there. But I don't feel the need to rip my eye out of my head anymore, so I'm doing well.

Then the nose starts to drip...and burn. The pepper has moved from my EYE to inside my NOSE. It's burning me from the inside, and there is NOTHING I can do about it but wait it out. It's not as bad, but its annoying. Slowly that subsides…and then my ear starts to warm up.

WHAT?

Yes, now my ear is turning a bright red and the heat coming off of it is INCREDIBLE. This has been ilke 45 minutes of just hell at this point, but it's finally over.

Well now it's time to actually cook. I'm just beat to hell now, not thinking right, and I go to make the hot oil. I remember the exhaust, but forget to open a window. So instead of making the pepper bomb again. I make this like…slow acting Aerosol that just spreads silently throughout the apartment.

Within 20 minutes, Kendle and I are coughing. We are rushing to open doors and windows. It was nuts.

Long story short, I'm not allowed to play in the kitchen anymore unless supervised.

Happy Hour

2011-03-25T09:07:00.004-05:00

So Colin and I got into a argument two wednesdays ago over Shaun of the Dead.

Colin says great movie. I said it was not so funny. Colin said it was right up my ally, and I admitted that it had been awhile since I had seen it, so maybe it was funny. But I was going to stick with my opinion of "not funny" till I saw it again.

So instead of our usual Wednesday night 5:00 at the Rocking Horse...THIS Wednesday we all came over to the Hunka Blue Line stop.

Thats what I've named out apartment. Do you like it? Cause its on the blue line and I live here. I thought it was clever.

Anyways everyone came over and we watched Shaun of the Dead. I can now say with full confidence that the movie is "meh."

It probably did not help that we had all seen it a thousand times. Well...everyone but me. So we talked through the whole thing. But yeah, even Colin said after watching it this time "I think the last time I watched this I could identify with Shaun more. Now I got my shit together and it didn't tale a zombie attack to get there."

So lesson learned. Shaun of the Dead is a great movie for college kids, or perhaps fresh out of college kids. But as grown adults (Yikes, how SCARY is that to say) the movie only becomes ok.

Well anyways after that we watched the Dead Island Trailer cause no one actually reads my blogs when I post them, and they had not see it. So here's a Shaun of the Dead Island mashup for you to not watch.

I think I may have been a victim of Inception

2011-03-23T10:09:00.002-05:00

So I had this dream last night. I had to sign up for a website, and I remember putting in my login name and password that I use for alot of the things I sign in for. It's odd, cause I thought you couldnt read in your dreams. Cause dreaming is a function of the left brain and reading is a function of the right brain. That's what Batman the animated series taught me at least.

Anyways, I woke up and the first thing I thought was:

BWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAHHHHHHH

And I hurriedly went around changing all the important sites that use that password. I'm a LITTLE pissed at Chris Nolen for putting the idea that my thoughts could be stolen into my head.

Oh.Shit.

Did I get a thought planted in my subconscious that THEN made me change all my passwords? Now that's tricky. I should probably set them all back. But Chris Nolen, being a thinking man, would know that I would figure him out...therefore I should leave them where they are. But I'm not done, 'cause the passwords are from Australia, which is full of criminals, there fore I should set them all back.

INCONCEIVABLE!

Why the toilet seat MUST BE DOWN!

2011-03-22T09:37:00.007-05:00

So I'm watching the Kardashians last night. Well..its on the TV in the room that I happened to be occupying at the moment.

Anyways, one of those girls FALLS INTO THE TOILET, gets her own pee on her, and then blames the guy in the house because the seat was not down, and wipes her pee all over him.

So of course they get into the argument of whos job it is to put the seat down....so of COURSE we get into the same discussion.

Kendle tells me its a guys job to put it down because SHES fallen into the toilet before too, and its gross.

"So wait, you fell in? How?"

"I didn't look, just like Kourtney, and fell in"

So let me get this straight. I'm required to make the bathroom the perfect condition for you to use it BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO LAZY TO LOOK AT THE TOILET BEFORE YOU SIT!?

To that I say no. You lazy girls can just fall into your own pee all day long. I am officially refusing to put the seat up or down or ANYTHING from this moment on.

Lazy asses.

Hunka gets a passport

2011-03-15T08:43:00.006-05:00

So I'm going on a honeymoon eventually, and it will not be in the US, so I need a passport. Now my passport expired in 1999, so I can't renew online. I need to go in person to get a new one. So I wake up REALLY early in the morning to get downtown and then back home before I need to start work. Downtown is CRAZY. I've been there before but this was like...morning rush hour nuts.

So I get off the El and start walking, and I only walked like 4 blocks in the wrong direction before I figured it out and backtracked. Once on the right path I headed down La Salle street. I got this creepy feeling like I'd been here before. When I got to the city building I looked down the street:

You probably have to click this picture to get any sort of detail, but I'm looking at the building at the end of the street.

Turns out, I'VE never been here, but I sure have seen two scenes from BATMAN filmed down there! Just down that street is where Commissioner Gordon got "killed" during the funeral, as well as the street fight between the Joker and Batman took place.

(Batman is driving AWAY from the building, so its the one behind him that I recognized) So that was fun and kinda freaky.

Oh, then I went inside and got a passport. There were no long lines or any hiccups/problems with city officials/my application/forms of payment/red tape/hoops to jump through.

Ben Gorski, trend setter

2011-03-14T12:01:00.004-05:00

Square-Enix is a company based in Japan. You may have heard...they got rocked with earthquakes last friday, which also made some tsunami's happen. It's pretty nuts over there. So the DAY OF the earthquake, it was rumored that they were going to be releasing a game on iPhone. But...what with the earthquake and all, that didn't happen. I went over to their page to see if I could figure out what if anything was going on. Here are a few of the comments on their page:

So naturally, I post this:

WAIT! WHATS THAT?! Did Square-Enix REALLY respond directly to me? Yep. Looks like me and the ol' Squeenix are on a first name basis.

Of course this prompted some others to jump on the band wagon, and now the Mobile Games Devision's website is a much HAPPIER place:

Copycats!

This is how I eat my cereal

2011-03-11T10:56:00.003-06:00

I take half a bowl of Cap'n Crunch and half a bowl of Cocoa Puffs and mix 'em together. Then I eat it.

Yes, I eat my cereal like a 5 year old child every morning. Why? Because I can.

But Ben! They MAKE that already. It's called Reese's Puffs, why don't you just get that?!

Because secretly I'm slightly smarter than a five year old child...and some days I want to CHOOSE one or the other...or somedays I want to have both! The possibilities are endless.

Well...ok...there are only three possibilities. But still that's two more than YOU have every morning!

That's how we roll...you know, JUICE

2011-03-09T09:31:00.002-06:00

It's time for another Vlog.

Let's try and play catchup this week

2011-03-08T09:03:00.005-06:00

It's been forever, I'd be surprised if anyone was still coming every day like they used to. But whatever. Let's play catchup. I've been kinda busy what with releasing a new product over at work.

So let's play catchup. I think it was maybe 2 or three weekends ago, and I tweeted something about Dead wood on lane 23...well whenever that was was the night that I went to the Rock and Bowl here in Chicago, a mere 6ish blocks from my house. So as we all know, thats WALKING distance. But lo and behold! This place has the common courtesy to provide parking for its patrons! So we drove.

Kendle's work buddies apparently do this every once and a while. The place looked OLD and run down, but they had this cool thing you could do where you took your picture at a kiosk, and then it displayed it for everyone to see when it was your turn to bowl.

Naturally there were some pretty funny pictures, with a baby and a beer taking the prize for "best prop used while taking your photo"

So we are bowling, and drinking, and bowling BETTER after a few beers (like always) when suddenly this happens:

I've never been cosmic bowling. I mean I've known about it, but I never was around the ally when it happened. It's AWESOME.

If you like, you can check it out in motion:

oh, and Dead Wood means you hit the pins so hard you knocked them out of the area where the arm that drops down can grab it and get it off the lane. We musta done that 8 or 9 times. When it happens you hit the service button and some guy on the mic says "Dead wood on lane XXX" and this Predator looking guy runs out and knocks the bad pin back in.

No seriously, this guy looked like the predator. Dreads, sunken eyes, tattoos, tall and gangly.

By the 3rd time this happened, the whole group of us were just yelling out "DEAD WOOD ON LANE 23!" rather than hitting the button. I'm sure they loved us for that.

Why everyone is in a rush

2011-03-01T10:29:00.004-06:00

I mean, it may seem like common sense to you guys...but I finally figured out why everyone is in such a rush around here.

BECAUSE IT TAKES A MINIMUM OF 30 MINUTES TO GET ANYWHERE IN CHICAGO. Then when you get there it takes 20 minutes to find parking.

So if it take 50 minutes to do anything, and the average walking speed is 3.1 MPH, it means things that are three miles away are now within "walking distance."

Welcome to my new walking distance:

Thats a BIG green circle...

Paid transportation in Chicago

2011-02-21T08:50:00.002-06:00

I mean seriously Chicago. My VERY First CTA bus ride has a crack head/convict pass out on an old lady.

Ok, thats fine. That's probably a one in a million chance, right?

WRONG.

Kendle and I get on the Blue line to go downtown. On the way back we sit down and start staring out the window, looking around the train, the usual stuff. Then I notice that the guy in front of us is playing with a broken piece of mirror. Then I see the tear tattoo next to his eye.

Shit, this guys gonna shank me with his mirror.

So I start watching this guy who's NOT facing the way his chair goes, but more to the side so he's 1/2 pointing in my direction. And I mean I'm watching him close. If his hands made any sudden movements, I was ready to block my throat and Kendles.

So the guy looks up from his mirror sliver and makes a joke about how I'm staring at him, and how if he had a compact mirror like a girl carries it would look even funnier.

"Oh yeah, that shiv mirror is much manlier" I say. Kendle mumbles some agreement. At this point I have no idea if shes as freaked out by this guy as me or not or if I'm being nuts here.

So the guy goes on to tell me how it's his mirror from prison, and about his acne problem. Apparently he learned some home remedy when he was in the joint to fix it, so now whenever he gets a pimple he immediately has to pop it.

Yeah, I'm with you, it's a little gross, imagine actually being there and watching him "fix things" while talking to me. Well, thankfully, whatever the guy is on causes him to pass out and Kendle and I escaped with our lives.

We are two for two here Chicago. Let's keep going. That's right, we are NOT done.

So you will notice i didn't just say Public transportation. Because the next story is about a cab. The bus was no good, so we took a train, the train didn't work any better, so let's try cabs? Sure...let's try cabs.

So we get a cab, and we are at one of these crazy 7 road intersections that are EVERYWHERE in chicago (seriously...they call it the grid system? I've never seen a grid with that kinda intersection). The cab driver pulls this nutty move where he pulls right across 2 lanes of traffic to get us going the right direction.

Most of us in the cab were just stunned. Not at the danger of it, but that he actually pulled it off with out making us ever feel unsafe. We start to congratulate him on an amazing move, and he says "Yeah, one time I did that an I got a ticket." We all laugh at that...silly cabbie!

Que the flashing lights. We get stopped for about 20 minutes while our cabbie stumbles through this whole process. At one point he tells us we can get another cab. 1) I'm not gonna jump out of a pulled over cab, that looks suspicious as hell. 2) The way the cop was treating this guy, I felt it would be better if we were here as witnesses to anything assault-like that may happen.

Three for three Chicago.

So yeah, it's not just public transportation. If you come to visit, and I say "Oh, we will just take the train" I would suggest you saying something like "Oh, no, we have our car here, let's just use that." Either that or you can have some crazy shit happen to you.

Let's talk Zombies...

2011-02-18T08:38:00.000-06:00

First let's all just take a moment and appreciate that this is NOT a movie trailer but rather a trailer for a game. This really has nothing to do with the post, but this trailer is just too good and emotionally taxing not to show. After the trailer I have a few questions that maybe some of you can answer for me.

Oh and PS the video is pretty bloody, and there is a zombie in a bikini, so...NSFW.

Ok, question one. Why do zombies always team up with other zombies. Why do they instead not eat each other? In alot of "scientific zombie scenarios" we see zombies being created through the use of a drug. Usually a rage inducing drug (a-la the t-virus in Resident Evil, or RAGE in 28 Days later). If they really are just enraged humans with a thirst for flesh....what's wrong with zombie flesh? it's a little rotten sure, but its there.

Next question. Why do we always see these cities over run with zombies, as if they could live there. With millions of zombies NOT eating each other, and the number of human survivors dwindling faster and faster, WHAT are these zombies eating to stay alive? You would think these outbreaks could be pretty easily contained with just the fact that cities are very far apart, and zombies are not super smart and like...look for road signs to get to the next town. I would imagine a zombie would just wander around town and eventually fall apart, after eating the last human.

I went to the produce place across the street today...

2011-02-17T13:08:00.002-06:00

I was looking for some specific items.

Noodles, Chicken breast, breadcrumbs, cheese.

I was surprised to find it all there. With the place having "Produce" in its name, I was figuring it was gonna be some sort of fruit and vegetable stand.

But here's the weird thing. All the brands were funny one I've never heard of. And no, this isn't some "Ben's never been out of Champaign, he probably only knows about one or two brands anyways" kinda thing. This is the real deal. These were funky brands. The noodles looked ok, but they didn't have angel hair, except in this weird free form bag. The noodles were going all over the place! I need straight noodles, like spaghetti, only smaller.

Then the meat. The meat depart,emt looked and smelled like an aquarium. I double checked...there was no fish in there. They did have some funky cuts of meat, and head cheese. I've heard of it, but never seen it. It was nuts.

So the chicken breasts. You could buy them 2 at a time. but it was probably 4lbs of chicken! That was a little over what I needed...who are we kidding, that was ALOT over what I needed.

So at the end of all of it, I just went home. Kendle's gotta make dinner tonight now.

Snow's gone

2011-02-14T09:03:00.004-06:00

Well...it's GOING, but to celebrate, I've turned off the snow effect on the site.

Colin, Kristen, Kendle and I were all marching around Bucktown (or maybe it was Wicker Park...I'm not really sure) and it was the perfect packing snow. So I made this little guy, while the ladies were in some fancy schamcy boutique store.

Now Colin says not to get all excited and that come mid march, we will see temperatures in the teens again. It's sorta old man winters last "fuck you." He get's you all comfy, lets you start walking around without a heavy coat and hat. Then BAM! He smacks you with one last blisteringly cold week. Now I'm thinking it wont be like this:

...but I havn't put away my coat yet. Although...50 degrees seems down right BALMY these days, how sad is that?

This is my backyard

2011-02-11T11:03:00.005-06:00

This is my porch, you will notice the close proximity to the train tracks:

Thats the blue line. Trains pass by quite often. Now I'm sure you are all saying "but Ben, WHY would you choose to live so close to the noisy tracks?"

Because THIS is where I'm gonna put my huge "hunka.net" poster:

Who's the number one blogger in Champaign AND Chicago? That's right, it's Hunka.

Garage Door

2011-02-10T09:14:00.000-06:00

So I have a garage now, and with that comes a garage door opener. Day one the garage door opener worked fine, but every day after that when I clicked the button, the door lights just blinked at me. I wasn't really sure what was going on, so I just popped the door off the chain, and manually lifted it.

This was a problem, because then the garage door was unlocked all day/night. Anyone could walk buy and fuck with my car.

So I had left a message with my landlord via his employees (his business is next door to my apartment building) that I was having issues and it needed looked into. As near as I could tell the door was just busted. So I dinked and dinked and dinked some more and I found out there is a button on the wall...and it locks the remote out. So that's all that was wrong. Someone had locked out the remotes. Which makes no sense...why would you even have that button. To top it all off the display on the wall unit was set to spanish, so the warning text that said "remotes are locked out, hit lock button to enable remotes again" was not something I could read.

So I go back into the store, 'cuase I don't want them to tell my landlord the door is broken, when its not and I got it all figured out.

So I go back in there, and tell the guy at the counter "Never mind, it was locked, I got it all figured out. No need to bother Pete" and he thanked me and I walked out.

There was a guy in the store who left at the same time who clapped me on the shoulder and walked with me to the parking lot.

"Man, I have never heard ANYONE say they have it all figured out. Can you tell me the meaning of life?!"

I just looked him dead in the eye and said "Be sure to drink your Ovaltine."

And that was my first interaction with a Chicagoian I don't know.

Observations about Chicago

2011-02-09T08:59:00.003-06:00

I've been here a few weeks now, and I've come up with some observations.

1) My fingers prune up almost immediately in the shower here. I mean, I'm no stranger to the effect, but the speed at which it happens here is noteworthy.

2) Everyone on the street is REALLY nice and smiles alot at me, but then I figured out they just wanted to make sure I wasn't mugging them, so that made me sad.

3) For all the talk of Chicago Style Pizza there are no pizza joints around here. Taco's yes...pizza no.

3a) There are NO taco bells around here due to all the other Mexican joints. So, no fire sauce anymore.

4) Taking the trash out is a MUCH bigger chore now that there are three flights of stairs to deal with, and a trek across a snow covered ally.

We still have boxes all over the place or I'd show you pictures of the apt. Oh hell, who cares, right? Here you can see how it looked with all the boxes right after we first moved in:

I'll get you some updated pictures when we have everything unpacked.

You can't take me ANYWHERE

2011-01-30T11:29:00.004-06:00

So I'm sitting in the California Pizza Chicken in Shaumburg for lunch yesterday when who should walk in but Megan Wolf from Champaign.

"YOU LIVE IN SHAUMBURG!?" she squealed.

"No..no" was all I could get out before she continued.

"I'm going to tell everyone you live in Shaumburg!"

That was the end of our polite back and forth that you do when you meet someone you know randomly. But then I got to thinking...and maybe she didn't know we moved to Chicago. Maybe she really is going to go back to Champaign, and tell everyone that we moved to Shaumburg, and the people who DO know we moved, would get really confused.

So...for the record, if you hear we moved to Shaumburg, we didn't. We moved to Logan Square, and by the time you read this, we may already have keys to the place!

But for the record people...I'm STILL kinda a big deal, even in Chicago. I know Sheila was worried about me being a small fish in a big pond, but clearly I'm still being recognized while "out" :)

Oh, and it's by birthday...happy birthday to me :)

It's all I've ever really wanted out of life...

2011-01-21T08:48:00.001-06:00

Welcome to CHICAGO!

2011-01-17T13:13:00.004-06:00

So I'm on the CTA bus on Friday. I was on my way back from lunch with Colin. The guy across from us starts getting sleepy...and he kinda passes out on to this old Polish lady's grocery cart. She yells for the bus driver to help. Colin jumps up and yells at the guy, trying to wake him up. He later told me he was (rightfully) scared to touch the guy right away, cause he might wake up and knife him. He was not responding at all. Colin finally moves the guy off the old lady and her cart, and she scoots out of the way.

The bus driver stopped the bus and starts dealing with the situation, so Colin returns to his seat and we watch this play out.

Well the guy finally wakes up, and lets the bus driver know where he's heading. The bus does not go to that location, or anywhere near there. The man refuses paramedics, explaining his behavior with "I hit my head right before I got on the bus."

I look at Colin and ask "Could you smell Booze on him?"

"Nope."

"Then he's not drunk is he?"

"Nope."

So the bus driver, goes above and beyond what he's paid to do, and walks the guy across the street to the bus stop that he needs to be at. This is when the lady next to us stands up, goes over to where this guy dropped some papers and hands them to the returning bus driver, who now has to RE-cross the street to hand him his papers.

Well the papers were Jail Discharge papers. So this guy was fresh out of jail on drug bender, passing out on old ladies.

WELCOME TO CHICAGO HUNKA!